It just so happens that Honey Alexander, wife of Senator Lamar Alexander, was the first name on my list. As I read her bio, I couldn't help thinking that we would probably agree on many issues, especially those impacting children. This letter asks wives of senators to prevail upon their husbands to consider healthcare from a woman's point-of-view. I decided to name this letter DEAR HONEY, underscoring the role wives play in the consciousness of their husbands. A note from MadamaAmbi, author of this letter.
"Recently I saw a pregnant woman I will call Lillian, a 22-year-old who brought her two children with her to the ER. Lillian has a full-time job whose health insurance doesn't cover pregnancy. She can't afford to cover herself and her family on the individual market, and she makes too much money to qualify for Medicaid. Lillian came to the ER because she wants to make sure her baby is okay. A friend with better insurance advised her that she should have an ultrasound. I discharged Lillian with worry. I know that she will have a difficult time finding standard prenatal care. Without that help, she and her baby are at much higher risk for complications, like low birth weight, that can turn into tragedy. Or Lillian's health might suffer. I am embarrassed by how many women die in childbirth in the U.S. — at 15.1 maternal deaths per 100,000 live births, our rate is higher than most developed nations. Most women in America will spend roughly 35 years of her life preventing pregnancy, trying to become pregnant, having children, or recovering from pregnancy. She might also face a sexually transmitted disease ~ or a common condition of the reproductive system, like fibroids or polyps. Her health insurance will not help her with any of these basic needs, yet we still call it health insurance. Although women comprise more titan half of the U.S. population, many insurers treat their medical care as an exception to the rule, charging them more, to stay healthy than men and refusing to cover basic reproductive services. When women do not receive gynecological care, they get sick when they could have easily and inexpensively been kept well. Just as she needs to be in good cardiovascular health, a woman must be in good reproductive health whether or not she is trying to got pregnant. An undetected problem in the reproductive system can have devastating consequences. Two of my colleagues have had patients who went without ob/gyn checkups because they could not afford health insurance. By the time they saw a doctor, their cervical cancer had already spread too far to save their lives. One of these women was in her 50s. The other was 28. A woman's reproductive health affects her throughout her life; it is inextricable from her overall well-being. Reproductive health care is a necessity that too many women have gone without for too long. And when women get sick and die, their children feel the impact, as do their spouses, employers, and everyone else who depends on them. I was disappointed but not surprised by the following survey finding: 52 percent of women in our country did not visit a doctor when they had a medical problem or went without a needed prescription or follow-up care because they could not afford these services. I have worked in Philadelphia's emergency rooms since 2002. where I have treated women of all ages who have nowhere else to go for fundamental care. Every day our department treats at least 10 women who come to the ER for pregnancy tests and ultrasounds. These women have to pretend that they have emergency stomach pain or bleeding so that they can get a little bit of obstetric attention, In the rush to develop legislation for health care reform, our senators and representatives must not forget the health of half their constituents. Every private and public insurance plan must guarantee the same set of reproductive services to every woman. We can't keep Lillian and the rest of the women in this country healthy and alive without taking care of their reproductive health."
We need think of abortion in this context. What if it was necessary to save the life of the mother? I think some of these young women need to go before Congress, No one has the right to make decisions for women like this. Can you imagine the health care bills these young women have already? My daughter's bill is like a house payment that never ends. These young women would die because they can't be treated.
A diagnosis that, came in fairly often was TAB. They were always white women, well-dressed, beautiful hair and nails, usually a fur coat if it was winter, and always a private doctor. I never could find out what that acronym stood for. No one wanted to share. Eventually, an intern on the ob-gyn floor told me it stood for therapeutic abortion. He also explained it didn't necessarily mean something was wrong with the mother or the fetus (I asked, because the woman I had just admitted wasn't sick looking).
Abortion is not for me, BUT, I will defend to the death anyone's right to have a safe and legal abortion and a doctor's right to give someone that abortion and have it covered by insurance. The lies and scare tactics being used make me sick and angry. I just wish that everyone would remember that there were abortions before they were legal. There were also many, many tragedies—hemorrhaging to death, septicemia, ruptured uterus, etc., because they didn't have insurance or a doctor to do a TAB.
In their July 27 opinion “Devoted Dads Need Support NOW”, fathers’ rights proponents Mike McCormick and Glenn Sacks promote mandatory joint custody saying "children love, want and need their fathers" and therefore should have equal time with them. But their cookie-cutter solution disregards the individual decisions and needs of separating families while tying judges’ hands, endangering battered women, and placing the father’s interests above the best interest of the children.
We agree that joint custody can work in financially secure families when the parents live near each other, have flexible work schedules, and neither has remarried. But when parents are forced into a custody arrangement they don’t agree to, and when parents don’t get along - as is often the case when relationships end - studies show joint custody can be disastrous for the children.
Under current law, any separating couple in NY State can choose joint custody if they think that is best for their family, and both the National Organization for Women (NOW) -New York State and StopFamilyViolence.org support their right to do so.
Nevertheless, most parents do not voluntarily choose joint custody for a variety of reasons based on their individual circumstances. The vast majority choose to leave the children in the custody of the historical primary caregiver – usually the mother - with visitation by the non-custodial parent.
Moreover, 95% of separating parents reach agreement on custody arrangements without courtroom battles or judicial intervention. Mandatory joint custody laws would override these parents’ careful decisions about what is best for themselves and their children.
Of the five percent of custody cases that do involve courtroom battles, at least three quarters of them involve domestic violence. Abusers often use ongoing, costly litigation - seeking joint or sole custody - as a tactic to continue the abuse and to punish the mother for leaving.
We all know that abusers don’t make good role models or good parents and that they don’t deserve “father’s rights.” Sacks and McCormick agree that mandatory joint custody should not apply in these cases. That means they are promoting mandatory arrangements that will hamstring the choices of almost all separating families in order to benefit, at most, only 1.25% of them.
But even in cases without abuse, judges still need the flexibility to protect the safety and best interests of the children when a parent is alcoholic, a drug abuser, a hardened criminal, or when children are the product of one-night stands, rape or incest. Neither NOW NYS nor StopFamilyViolence.org support legislation that would tie judges’ hands in these or other difficult family situations.
The people who advocate most strongly for mandatory joint custody laws are parents who do not want to pay child support. Child support payments are paid by the non-custodial parent to the custodial one. Under mandatory joint custody laws, regardless of which parent actually ends up supervising and raising the children, there would be no non-custodial parent and neither parent would be required to pay child support. While non-custodial parents who currently pay child support will benefit, this outcome is certainly not in the best interests of the children.
McCormick and Sacks accuse NOW of using scare tactics in cautioning about the dangers of mandatory joint custody legislation for battered women and their children. Considering how often we read of courts ignoring signs of domestic violence and then later read headlines of the woman or children’s murder, NOW’s caution doesn’t seem overstated at all. There is little question that with mandatory joint custody, at times judges will fail to detect abuse and will put children at risk by awarding custody to abusers.
Ironically, it is members of the so called “father’s rights” groups that have engaged in scare tactics. After the mandatory joint custody legislation, A330, was defeated in the New York legislature, NY State Assembly Leader Sheldon Silver received a threat from the co-director of the father’s rights group of NY State, an affiliate of McCormick’s national organization, implying there could be violence if joint custody legislation is not passed.
It’s time for Sacks and McCormick to come clean about their true agenda and to stop bullying New Yorkers into misguided legislation that will usurp the choices of most separating parents, endanger women, tie the hands of judges, and substitute “father’s rights” for something we all support – father’s responsibility.
Mothers...Aunts...Big Sisters...Friends....
I just got through watching one of the most significant conversations in the history of my existence..the 2008 presidential debate. I have to profess that I am completely inspired and humbled by Barack Obama's courage, diplomacy, and persistence.
I had a thought...one of those evenings after a long day's work...when you are tired from today and tired already from tomorrow and you walk into your child's room to discover she found a sharpie and decided to color herself, her bed, her carpet and her walls with it...and you are overcome with anxiety & exhaustion, feeling like you haven't the strength to clean up this mess.....
I think of Barack.
I think of the fact that despite the overwhelming racist and ignorant accusations that your own fellow citizens have made about you...in fact the same citizens that would benefit from YOUR blood, sweat, and tears NONE the less...AND the fact that he is willing to come into a position AND CLEAN UP A MESS with only a motive of making our country a better place for our children to grow up in...IS NOTHING SHORT of breathtaking. A MESS that is almost certain to turn into one of the most tragic failures in the history of American Economy all but engaged in a WORLD WAR, not to mention the scores of other issues that are stinging the hearts of almost every family in our country on a DAILY BASIS...a mess that nobody in this world DARE to fix BUT HIM.
And for what? A President's salary is not any more than what some college graduates achieve. Barack Obama does not accept "gifts" from Big Oil, Pharmaceutical Companies, Foreign Governments, or anyone else for that matter. HE IS DOING THIS FOR HIS KIDS and YOURS.
John McCain is banking on the idea that by MANIPULATING the Bush Administration's approach, Americans will be fooled into believing that things could get better. FOOLED into thinking that staying in IRAQ and going BANKRUPT is better than trying to make PEACE and focus on the emergencies RIGHT HERE AT HOME. AND he is SO FULL OF HIMSELF that he doesn't even think he needs a vice president for anything more than eyecandy at foreign meetings.
SO, I am taking my HOPE for America, and I am taking Barack's beliefs, and I AM GOING TO WORK for a change. I carry in my purse a stack of voter registration forms and I WILL RALLY every last OBAMA SUPPORTER that I can. I will volunteer. I will vote. I will remind my loved ones to vote BECAUSE EVERY VOTE COUNTS. And I will continue to believe that things can be better. I will no longer accept that being politically correct is more imporant than being true to myself. I will no longer be held by fear....I am choosing HOPE. Please won't you do the same.
Join us for Camp Obama - Mamas for Obama A special mini-training welcoming Moms who can volunteer for Obama for America Kids welcome SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 21st Location: Culver City (address will be confirmed on RSVP) Check in: 12:30pm Training: 1:00 pm - 4:30 pm RSVP: http://my.barackobama.com/CampObamaCAMama
Will someone out there please answer one simple question for me - what makes a "hockey mom" a better mom than any other mother in American? A better mom, perhaps, than the inner city mom who can only afford to provide her kid with a basektball and send him outside to shoot some hoops??? A better mom, perhaps, than the suburban single mom working hard who can afford a mitt, a ball, and a bat, but nothing else??? A better mom than, perhaps, than a rural mom who drives 30 miles a day to work for a minimal wage job in a non-union state and can only afford to put food on the table?? Or lastly, the stay at home mother finding it difficult to provide any extra activites for her children on one salary.
The incessant references to "hockey moms" as somehow representing the "ideal" mom, and thereby implying a "better mom" is demeaning and insulting to hard working mothers everywhere. How is it that within a matter of weeks the Republicans have managed to elevate the "hockey mom" to almost a deity like status - Women running around with hockey t-shirts that say "I'm a hockey mom". First it was the "soccer moms", then it was the "security moms", now the catch phraase du jour - "HOCKEY MOMS". What will be next????
Enough is enough!!!! Basketball moms and all moms who feel disparaged unite and fight back!! This is an insult to all mothers!!
Tonight, there will be an interview with Sarah Palin on ABC. This is what I’ve heard. And all I can say – as a single mother of three teenagers who has no plane, not much lipstick, and no moose – is that I hope she talks about corn.
Because I went to the store last night and peanut butter was $7. Not a huge industrial size. Not anything special or organic. It was Jif, Creamy, ordinary size. The kind I’ve been buying for nineteen years, since my first kid was born.
A loaf of ordinary bread was $3.29. Milk was $3.99. And Wesson corn oil – the most ordinary thing, the one we make pancakes with – was $6.
I almost cried. A woman in front of me was actually teary eyed. She had four kids. She looked at the five magazine covers near the checkout with Sarah Palin on the cover and shook her head. “Those glasses. I wonder how much they cost,” she said.
Last week, Palin gave her historic speech to the Republican National Convention, sparking worldwide media scrutiny and thunderous applause – supposedly from mothers. Like me.
I’m not a hockey mom. I live in southern California, where last week it was still 102 degrees here in Riverside. We don’t have much ice. I’ve been a basketball mom – including administrative booster club jobs – for nine years. I’ve been a PTA mom forever, and a school volunteer. This fall I will be a tennis mom.
I also work every day, and after twenty years of teaching at the same university, I have pretty good hours – usually 9-3. So I’m the mom whose house kids come to early, before school, and stay late, after school. I have a foot in so many camps I feel like a centipede. A centipede who goes through three to four loaves of bread a week, with all those kids around. And a lot of peanut butter.
I saw parts of the speech. It was a Wednesday night, remember? I was spraying weeds outside, and came in periodically to see what people were saying. They were saying a lot about Palin’s family, and her clothes. I sprayed more weeds and came in, finished, to wash my hands and then hang up the laundry.
My seventeen-year-old daughter sat on the couch, doing homework. My thirteen-year-old was beside her, doing homework.
I stood and stared at the screen. She was talking about being a hockey mom, selling a plane, getting rid of a driver and a chef. OK. Not much to relate to for me. She made me feel a little small. I liked her jacket, though.
In that perfectly deadpan voice of a seventeen year old, my daughter said, “What’s with the glasses?”
I thought she was talking to me. After seven years with the same pair, I’d gotten new glasses. But then she said, “Are those her kids? Is that her daughter?”
Yes.
“Shouldn’t they be in school? It’s Wednesday. Isn’t she a senior?”
My thirteen-year-old said, “Is that her younger daughter?”
“Isn’t it – like, eleven at night there? And she has to hold the baby? She must be tired.”
That was the sole extent of their comments.
But I realized all we were hearing about was Palin - her family, her life, and her story.
Amid the outraged reactions the next day, I asked women friends for their opinions. At work, my friend N, an academic advisor, said, “Speech? I have a 102 fever and I’m still coming in because we’re so shorthanded. I was asleep last night.”
My kids’ godmother, D, who is an accountant in Pennsylvania, called. “Speech? I worked really late, and then the Baltimore office called with some crisis. By the time that was over, I watched Bones.”
I called my friend T, a supervisor at the IRS, who laughed. “Watch that? Girl, I had so much to do after work I wasn’t even home yet.”
After I finished work, I went to the post office. My friend Y, who works the counter, frowned and looked puzzled? “Oh, that. We’re shortstaffed this week, so I had to work til 8. And my daughter has an early class, so I went straight to bed.”
At the grocery store, my friend L, a checker, rolled her eyes at me. “Susan, I’ve been working swing shift for so long, I don’t know when I’ve watched TV. Please.”
At home, I talked to my two neighbors. M is a mother of six grown children; she was born in the Philippines and has been married to American servicemen all her adult life. She said, “I’m scared of that woman.” Then she told me a story about a former neighbor of hers in the Philippines who was a person by day and an animal by night. She has a lot of stories like that.
But our other neighbor was close to tears. “She doesn’t speak for me,” she said vehemently. S and her husband are in dire straits. The California budget stalemate means that her husband, a principal at our local adult school, had no job all summer. The school was closed, for the first time in its history (depriving low income youth, dropouts, and non-native speakers their chance at classes, by the way). And S, whose nineteen-year-old son has severe autism, hasn’t been away from him for more than a few hours for months, since he doesn’t qualify anymore for respite care or even a social worker.
That evening, my eldest daughter, a sophomore in college in Ohio, called. “Did you watch the speech?” I said. “What did you think?”
She told me she’d had a meeting about her tutoring project, where she helps junior high kids with history twice a week. She’s interested in Teach America all of a sudden. Her college was the first to admit African-Americans, and to admit women. Social causes and community service are passions for most students.
When I hung up, I remembered that Barack Obama’s campaign talked about community service for tuition points, among other things. I’ll have two in college next year, and one in high school. The thought brings me to my knees at night, when I pray – yes, I pray, as a Methodist, which seems to be a distinctly unglamorous religion these days, and yet my family went off to Gulfport with our church to rebuild houses after Katrina – for strength, patience, and vision for how to accomplish what I think I might be here to accomplish.
(I’ve heard that “end of days” is a major tenet of Sarah Palin’s evangelical faith, but I can’t quite bring myself to imagine that my three daughters – the fervent loves of my life – wouldn’t have this world to live in. I won’t think that way.)
College, service, good food, and some pleasure. That’s what I’ve always wanted for my children, and I don’t want those things to be out of reach for them.
I want the Palin interview tonight to be about that – rising college costs – and corn. And maybe someone could pay attention to the fact that here, in California, we still have no budget. My neighbors are suffering. This is a county with one of the highest foreclosure rates in the nation, and the highest gas prices.
And peanut butter is $7. I didn’t have a coupon.
I don’t care about the plane. My van is fourteen years old. I don’t care about the lipstick – be serious. I don’t care about the moose. I have five chickens, because we like having the eggs, along with fertilizer for my vegetable garden, and they’re eating table scraps because chicken feed has gone up so high. That’s cracked corn.
We don’t have moose at the grocery store, so I don’t care if she shoots one.
I’m writing this during my lunchtime. Peanut butter sandwich, like I make for everyone else.
By tomorrow, I hope things won’t feel so dire for us all.
But tonight, I’ll try to watch the interview. One kid has basketball tryouts – yeah, the beginning of basketball mom season for me, and she sure as heck needs that scholarship – and after that I’ll be hanging laundry out to dry. It’s gone down to 88 here today, which feels very fall-like to us, but still hot enough to dry clothes for free.
I hope they talk about corn.
The above essay was written by Susan Straight, author of Highwire Moon, a novel of love, separation, strength and survival focused on Serafina, an illegal alien from Oaxaca, and her American born daughter, Elvia, who is placed in the foster care system when Serafina is deported. Her second book, A Million Nightingales, is a luminous novel set in 19th century Louisianna about Moinette, a young “mulatresse” who is taken from her slave mother at age 14 and sold to an abusive slave-owner. The story explores family bonds, slavery and freedom in a dark period of American history.
I am a single mom of 3 children. I work full time and I will be starting a new part time job soon to help cover the everyday cost of living. Soon I will be working 7 days a week, which means less time with my family.
I am a renter. I can not afford to own, nor do I have the credit to obtain a mortgage. Rent is sky high and is barely affordable to single income families.
I have applied for food stamps but was denied because I make "too much" money. I was not eligible for the child tax credit on my income taxes because I make "too much money"! The issue here, especially with food stamps is that they go according to your gross (mine is $44,000.00 a year). After taxes I bring home $1,000 every two weeks. My rent is $1,550.00 for a 2 bedroom utilities not included. They do not deduct rent or bills. I have two teens and a 5 year old. I need help feeding them. My car was repossesed because I had to choose between shelter, food, clothing and bills over transportation.
I know that there are many single moms who make much less than me and I can only imagine what a struggle it is for them. I can go on and on about how hard it is out here for us but who is really listening? Barack Obama is!!!! This is why I support him 100%. I know that he hears our cry, I know that he will bring about the change that we so desperately need.
Quoted from Feministing: McCain, Palin and working mothers
The media are clamoring to ask whether she can juggle her children and her career. But they aren't saying a peep about whether she wants to enact policies that will make it easier for women -- especially women who do not enjoy the privilege that Palin and McMorris Rodgers do -- to perform this balancing act. Where does Palin stand on S-CHIP? On fair pay? On paid family leave? I have no idea. But her running mate, John McCain, was rated by the Children's Defense Counsil as the worst senator for children. He supports businesses who discriminate on the basis of gender. He attempted to weaken the Family and Medical Leave Act. And he supported Bush's veto of S-CHIP. (Gloria Feldt and Carol Joffee have more.)The real story here is not how Sarah Palin chooses to balance her own life. It's about whether she (and McCain) are committed to making these choices easier for all women. And clearly, the answer is no.
Where does Palin stand on S-CHIP? On fair pay? On paid family leave? I have no idea. But her running mate, John McCain, was rated by the Children's Defense Counsil as the worst senator for children. He supports businesses who discriminate on the basis of gender. He attempted to weaken the Family and Medical Leave Act. And he supported Bush's veto of S-CHIP. (Gloria Feldt and Carol Joffee have more.)
The real story here is not how Sarah Palin chooses to balance her own life. It's about whether she (and McCain) are committed to making these choices easier for all women. And clearly, the answer is no.
Here's another article of interest about Republicans and policies to benefit working mothers
Who pays Palin's Child Care...
Michelle's appearance on the View today was a big hit. But it's just a start in a long struggle. The right wing noise machine will be relentless in attacking her in the coming months.
I had an idea that has resonated with everyone I have told it to--especially women. Thought I would share it here.
The concept is a series of very subtle, 30 second commercials featuring ONLY Michelle, and makes no mention of the campaign, except at the end.
Each spot just opens without fanfare, and has Michelle doing the voice over about one particular issue facing American women, and especially mothers. (Right-to-choose, education, health care, etc.). Each is informative, fact-laden, and emphatic in tone, but not strident. The video content is almost irrelevant. It could be still photos. Only the narration really matters.
Regardless of content, each spot ends with:
""I'm Michelle Obama, and this is one more reason this election means so much to me as a woman, a mother, and an American. Won't you please urge all your friends to vote?"
Of course, the final line must be:
"I'm Barack Obama and I Paid for this Message"
If you like this idea, please blog it, and pass it around. Perhaps the campaign will see it, and discuss it. I think it's a fresh approach, without rancor, could be viral, memorable, and might help to mitigate some of the right wing's attack squading to demonize Michelle.
Dear Senator Obama, I live in Pennsylvania and I am 10 years old. I think if you are to be president you must do everything to help America such as trying to find terrorists like Osama Bin Laden, try to keep or grow good relationships with Cuba, Russia, Iran, North Korea and Iraq. Also, you should try to end the war in Iraq when the time is right. I think you are the best candidate for president for a lot of reasons. One reason I think you're the best is because you have the right idea on education. I think that the schools are spending too much time preparing for the PSSA's. A year ago, we spent a lot time preparing PSSA'S and I didn't improve in my writing skills at all. I think if the teacher hadn't been preparing us for the tests then I think I would have been much better at my writing skills. You said that you would get teachers into high need schools. I agree with you on that because the kids that go to those schools aren't getting the help they need. So if you get teachers into the high need schools the children there who are below average will rise higher and higher until they are above average.
I think you have a great idea with the American Opportunity Tax Cut because everyone should be able to go to college. Now that you pay one third of the money that they need to go to college. That means if someone comes up short with money then with the AOTC they can get into college and maybe become a billionaire. You will help millions of kids in America and that's why you're the best candidate for president. There are also some things I don't agree with you on. The first thing is Iraq. I think you shouldn't take out the troops once you get to be president. If you take them out then a number of things could happen. Don't use too little money on Iraq. You should be using a reasonable amount on it. What will happen if the army needs something very important that goes over the limit that you have set? Another thing I don't agree with you on is Health Care. You didn't address this but not everyone is getting the medical care they need. Some people that don't have enough money that go to the hospital won't be taken care of because they're poor. If someone is making a visit to the hospital because they're having a baby it should be 100%. And the last thing I disagree with you on is nuclear weapons.
On your website you say that you would make a treaty with people with nuclear weapons. Instead of taking the weapons you let them keep them and they won't be able to get more. But the person that still has the nuclear weapon will still be a threat. I also think the United States should keep nuclear weapon for one reason, if North Korea were to bomb us we would have equal defense. I agree with you on most things and I think you're still the best even though I don't agree with you on everything. Thank you for your time. Here are some of my key points. Focus on the children.
Some kids I know agree with me on some things I disagree with you on. So I guess you should work on what the children think. They are the future of not only America but also the world.
yes im slightly political. because i have two children and i do not want to put a 70 something year old man in office that wants to fight a unnessary war for 100 years.i started a new group also in myspace called goths for obama. so that this group can just stay more social than political.
and the other site is on cafemom.com and its called goth mothers for obama
A Spanish proverb says:
"An ounce of Mother is worth a pound of clergy"
Today look like a way better day, for our campaign than ever. The numbers look good, all the people are energized, infants, teenagers, adults are all interested and exited about the Obama’s movement. I am a graduate student, a homeowner and a new mother. I have embraced all the plans that Obama is putting forward for the whole nation’s benefit. But there is a population I am concern about the working mothers, because, for instance when you are a non working family in California, there is a Calwork programs that help you with baby sitting your kids for free, you have housing programs and so fourth, which I thought is great, but when you are a working struggling mother with little income, the state offer no programs to help with baby sitting though it is the most expensive expense in families.
Ok, does anyone know what obama plans for working mothers are? Does anyone have a proposal?
Since I started blogging here I’ve changed. I’ve gone from God bless Hillary, but go Obama! to something much different. Now I fear a Hillary presidency will just be a tragedy of a different order than a McCain one.
Her sense of things is skewed, unfair and mean, and has she ever been wrong about anything? Her touted experience makes her a menace at worst and much less effective at best.
As I contemplate her huge lead in Pennsylvania, dread enters my being.
Then there’s the lost opportunity of Obama. A future that won’t be until it’s too late. Are other Americans, especially those Pennsylvanians who could decide our future perceptive and open enough to see and hear him?
Like my mother I suppose, I fear the future. But like Obama’s mother, believe that it’s there waiting and wanting to be claimed. Yes, I read the NYTimes today and their article about her.
Sing Obama Sing
The mother in me cries for what can't
And didn't happen
Worries about what will
Thinks today is a mixed blessing
And tomorrow nips at our heels
The mother in him sings for what can
And should
And will
And urges flight toward
Possibility that wraps a present
Tomorrow reality
On Wednesday, my son Gabriel and I went to a rally in Dallas for Obama. There were about 18,000 people there...the biggest political rally in the city's history. Thank goodness the weather shone on us, as we waited about 3 hours to get inside.
The opening remarks were made by former Dallas Mayor Ron Kirk, who has always struck me as a personable, intelligent politician, who also happens to have a great sense of humor. He noted that some critics say Obama isn't tough enough, "but a skinny kid with big ears and a last name that rhymes with 'yo mama' surely grew up knowing how to fight!"
And then Obama spoke. Yes, it was familiar...I've heard his stump speech a few times on TV. But it was still stirring. And one part that always touches me is his reflection on how improbable it is that he is standing there, considering the fact that he wasn't born into wealth or privilege, that he was born to a teenage mother, that his father left them when Barack was 2, that he was raised by a single mother and his grandparents. But he goes on to point out that they gave him "love, an education, and hope."
As a single mom, I am always moved by this tribute to his mother and grandparents. Single moms, broken homes, etc constantly get a bad rap. They are frequently blamed for every ill in the world, it seems. I caught my share of it. One psychologist who tested my son Jesse and diagnosed a learning disability in math attributed Jesse's weak math skills to the fact that he "didn't have a father to play ball with him." In the updated introduction to his book, Dreams from my Father, Obama writes,
I think sometimes that had I known she would not survive her illness, I might have written a different book---less a meditation on the absent parent, more a celebration of the one who was the single constant in my life. In my daughters I see her every day, her joy, her capacity for wonder. I won't try to describe how deeply I mourn her passing still. I know that she was the kindest, most generous spirit I have ever known, and that what is best in me I owe to her.
So here's to Obama's improbable journey and to the people in his life who made it possible!
