Straight from blogules (following "Netanyahu's al Aqsa intifada" and "Khamenei's death wish" ):
The country of Irate yesterday announced it had launched, "The Finger," an enormous missile, in a show of defiance at the ability to learn from others' mistakes.
Irate's Supremely Exalted Leader I-Yah-Tol’-Y’all I-Was-Ah-Nut-Job shouted, "We are a great super-power! We don't care about seismic activity in our country, the fact we have sunshine nearly 24 hours a day, and that oil that bubbles up to the surface of our wonderful land during earthquakes.
"What do we care about all those sources of energy at our fingertips when we could create toxins of such a strength, in our own borders, that cause hair to fall out very quickly?
"We demand to make the same mistakes the Great Satan has made. We will build nuclear power plants at huge expense and have incessant infighting on where to store the waste.
"We will be sure to waste tens of billions of dollars, taxed from citizens, and hand it over as a jobs program to those in the nuclear sector, thus ensuring our country has high-paying jobs.
"We have studied the Great Satan closely and our conclusion is we will mimic their current status of being like a cluster of ticks sucking on each other."
"What do we care about our neighbors and their concerns about our rockets falling on them. We are ready to sacrifice our children's future by paying for massive weapons and racing to build bigger and more destructive devices, like the U.S. leaders and military. Do I expect to be around in 80 years and have to pay off the bills? Ha ha ha. Like them I plan on retiring before I have any grey hair.
"Who knows, our rockets may even fall on us, but I've got a bunker! Shacks and houses are for the little people. Mighty mansions are for those God favors.
"I recommend all you imperialist swine watch the video below of how our great country of Irate plans on taking advantage of our citizens, in your footsteps.
"Long live nuclear waste!"
See the video here.
Just very busy! I am living it up at a Hospice called "HospiceCareInc." and I'm doing very well, thank you! I post to a blog through their "blog" frequently.
For those who are interested in doing so, please go to:
www.carepages.com/carepages/HealingThroughHumor
Note that the addy is CASE SENSITIVE, please.
There, are the details regarding my daily life, what its like where I'm at, and so I'm told, many are amused by my rantings and ravings! I will try to keep blogging here if I can find the time!
Keepin it brief for now!
Steven Severson
I feel for ya, JimBO!
Ron Paul on DL Hughley, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7uQBUQBIFkc.
Dealing with the hegemonous haters, "Live Your Life," http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AOFDaB1Sh20.
TTYL!
EMK
Last week, we made a mistake. We ran a cartoon that offended many people. Today I want to personally apologize to any reader who felt offended, and even insulted.
Over the past couple of days, I have spoken to a number of people and I now better understand the hurt this cartoon has caused. At the same time, I have had conversations with Post editors about the situation and I can assure you - without a doubt - that the only intent of that cartoon was to mock a badly written piece of legislation. It was not meant to be racist, but unfortunately, it was interpreted by many as such.
We all hold the readers of the New York Post in high regard and I promise you that we will seek to be more attuned to the sensitivities of our community.”
I believe him. After all, the main author of the Stimulus package was Nancy Pelosi, so the chimp, in the cartoonist’s mind, was akin to one of those monkeys I referred to in my earlier post. It was too “overtly racist”, if you will, to refer to Obama. However, the key phrase in Murdoch’s statement is “sensitivities”. Old racist stereotypes die hard, and they are still alive in many people’s minds.
First, the cartoon, by Sean Delonas.
THAT CARTOON
Wednesday's Page Six cartoon - caricaturing Monday's police shooting of a chimpanzee in Connecticut - has created considerable controversy.
It shows two police officers standing over the chimp's body: "They'll have to find someone else to write the next stimulus bill," one officer says.
It was meant to mock an ineptly written federal stimulus bill.
Period.
But it has been taken as something else - as a depiction of President Obama, as a thinly veiled expression of racism.
This most certainly was not its intent; to those who were offended by the image, we apologize.
However, there are some in the media and in public life who have had differences with The Post in the past - and they see the incident as an opportunity for payback.
To them, no apology is due.
Sometimes a cartoon is just a cartoon - even as the opportunists seek to make it something else.
Third, my attempt to logically analyze this.
I should point out the difficulties in trying apply logic to what is written in newspapers, let alone newspaper cartoons, but here goes.
The Post said that the cartoon was meant to mock an ineptly written federal stimulus bill.
Surely the caption gave the strong impression that the dead chimpanzee represented in some way the writer(s) of said bill. Now there’s that old joke about if you had enough monkeys on typewriters, one would do Hamlet. By the same token, one would do the stimulus bill. Is that where the cartoonist was going? One dead chimp to a lot of (dead) monkeys?
Then there’s the Post’s disclaimer that their apology doesn’t apply to opportunists looking for payback. So their apology only applies to people who were genuinely offended, as opposed to those who are always looking for ways to be offended by the Post.
But let’s ask ourselves, who in fact wrote the Stimulus Bill. Evidently it was written by Congressional Democrats and their staffers (the monkeys?), with guidance from the White House. However, at the end of the day, if one name has to be attached to the bill, it is that of our president, Barack Obama, who just happens to be an African-American.
Enter stage right the longtime racist identification of black people with apes of various kinds. So was the chimpanzee, and a dead one at that, meant to represent our president? If so, we should bring on the Patriot Act.
End of my analysis. To paraphrase Fox News, I pontificate, you decide.
PS. I’m sure you’re dieing to know where I come down on this. I think that, subconsciously, the cartoonist associated Obama with an ape, though not a dead one. Such associations should really be banished, even from humor. They just aren’t funny, not to mention disrespectful. The New York Post has plenty of other ways to spread its venom.
Alternate caption: "Well according to this list, there's supposed to be only twelve of you and, um, no girls."
Photo Source: White House photo 2/10/09 by Pete Souza.
From http://www.whitehouse.gov/photogallery/The-story-of-the-economic-recovery-package/
Congressman Walter Jones: Punish Those Who Lie Us Into War, Full Article
Here's the quote that made me laugh:
"The Constitution says that the Congress shall declare war ... but the Congress has been neutered," he said. [Italics added.]
Hey Congress! "Don't forget to have your pets..." Well, you know the rest, Price is Right fans! (Hey, I couldn't resist!)
The rest of the article is serious, but that quote, lol! He could have picked something better than a statement that resembles a dressed-up colloquial expression!
A Political Cartoonist's Christmas List (12/24/08): www.markfiore.com
Lata!
The Pickens Plan: For those who would like to become an active participant in a solution for our nations energy needs I urge you to join with T.Boone Pickens in his quest for a cleaner planet through alternative energy.
Also see Green Wave Energy: Green Wave was founded by Mark Holmes and was formulated for viable alternative energy solutions. Green Wave Energy is promoting state-of-the-art energy-saving products and services throughout the country.
Green Wave Energy understands alternative energy technology will become “main stream” when
Call 949.645.1701 for information on how Green Wave Energy can help you save the planet.
Alternative EnergySource: David Apperson
url: http://veterans.barackobama.com/page/community/tag/alternative-energy
Not a business was stirring, not large corporationsTheir requests had been sent to Congress with care
In hopes that Pelosi, or Reid, would give them a share The CEO’s had their hopes set on the Fed
And visions of bonuses danced in their headsI was at home, full of hope and wonder
At the thought of big companies not going under.
Then out on the street there arose such a clatter,I looked out the window to see what was the matter.On the street was a hay wagon, making its way
Not the usual wagon, filled with bales of hay.
No, this one, (and I know this sounds funny),
Was filled instead with bales full of money.
With a very old driver, so morose and deadpan,
That I knew in a flash it was Alan Greenspan
There was a small note, stuck to each cash bale
With the name of a company too big to fail.
His wagon was drawn by eight sleek mega-bucksAnd he shouted their names as he whipped their buttocks “Now Paulson, Bernanke, Now Rubin and Volcker
On Krugman, On Samuelson, Kudlow and Cramer,To the next company’s holiday retreat! So I can deposit a bale at the revelers’ feet"And so the wagon continued on,Until the last bail-out bales were gone.Greenspan then to his team gave a whistle,And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.And as they flew way up into the sky,
Alan cried, “I must see Ayn Rand once more ‘fore I die.”And I heard him exclaim as they flew into the night"Happy bail-outs to all, and to none, oversight!"
From the incomparable Betty Bowers:
R. I. P. America
Meet Tonya Jenkins. She died of shock this morning. You see, the poor thing had spent the past two years getting all of her information from Sean Hannity. She would then go to her favorite website, Free Republic, and read thousands and thousands and thousands of vitriolic posts, all containing no facts inconsistent with Mr. Hannity’s and no opinions that caused Tonya to rethink her own.
Tonya went to bed last night with a tumbler of cold tequila and a head full of comfy knowledge. She knew that the Lord Jesus would answer her prayer to never let no colored Muslim communist terrorist be no durn president.......
ENTIRE HILARITY- http://bettybowers.com/betty4president/?p=147
"Leap Year Patriot" (4 min) funnyordie.com/jmfinholt
My friends and I made this little comedy short last weekend in an attempt to get out the all-important Lazy American vote.
Will it singled-handedly get every last Lazy American to the polls?
Find out after the jump!
Enjoy.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qq8Uc5BFogE
Found this on Weazl's Revenge!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PEd4m6BK8H0
(pic source)
I KNEW JOE THE PLUMBER AND YOU ARE NO JOE THE PLUMBER By Jan Marshall
I saw that faux undecided “Joe" create a fantasy scenario and then become indignant because if he were to became successful, he might have to pay a small tax, which is a very American custom. It brought to mind another Joe from another time. A couple of faucets had become clogged. My friend, Rita the recommender, suggested I contact Joe, the plumber who had saved her from disaster one leaky day. I should have known this would be a special moment when he actually returned my call. No service person had done that in years. Then he arrived at my home the exact time he said he would. The previous repairmen never would commit themselves to an exact time. “Will you be home between March and April?” they'd ask and of course I would. Never leaving my home; not for my kid’s graduation, not for my prearranged rendezvous with Sean Connery, not even for already purchased tickets for a lecture called SEX AND ARTHRITIS: CAN WE HAVE ONE WITHOUT THE OTHER? (The answer to that one lies in my empty Aleve ® bottle). Oye. Not for anything did I leave my house in those days. When that particular serviceman showed up, he had the wrong part-I mean for the appliance. He had to send to Hong Kong for it. By the time it was delivered my ice box went out of style. I had to replace it with a modern one which created mixed feelings. I enjoyed the fact that food remained fresh and cool. Sadly, though, the ice-man no longer cameth to my house and he was a real hunk. So I truly appreciated Joe’s promptness. I showed him the sink and he went to work. He explained what he was doing and we chatted casually about various things and we laughed a lot. He wanted to know if I was Italian and I said no. He seemed genuinely disappointed. I did admit to being a pasta freak and that pleased him. He was from Italy and was so in love with this country. He told me about the thrill he felt the first time he had actually earned enough to finally pay taxes which he was certain helped finance the schools his grand kids attended. Perhaps the very road I lived could have come from his earnings. He went on and on about projects his money undoubtedly financed. He said that "now I feel like a true American". Just when I thought I would not see him again I got lucky. Two commodes stopped working. One had a major leak and the other was clogged so I called him. He arrived on time and went to fix the problems. We were old friends now and shared stories from our past. I made coffee and served cookies. “Fig Newtons!” he cried. “How did you know that Fig Newtons were my favorite sweets in the world?” he asked. What could I say? I wanted it to be fate that had prompted me serve that particular type but in fact it was the only thing that my kids had neglected to devour. Joe made out another bill that was more than fair; he also scribbled a note to my husband. “You got a terrific wife. You'd better be plenty careful or I will take her away from you. Yours truly, Joe the Plumber.” I knew he was kidding. As a matter of fact he was on his way home to be with his wife of 50 years. Before he left he asked me once again if I was Italian. I finally agreed that way, way back in my past there could be a chance that I was. "I knew it. I just knew it,” said Joe. He hugged me. When he left, I filled out my own tax return earlier than usual. Then I had a huge bowl of linguini. Perhaps by osmosis….? THE END
Jan Marshall author of "Still Hanging In There: Confessions of a Totaled Woman" is founder of the International Humor and Healing Institute in Laguna Woods, CA
Here is the video, Karaoke style.
Here are the lyrics.
