Barack Obama’s Guide to Becoming the First Black President of the United States. Needless to say, First be Black to fall in the Category, First Black President of the United States. Half-black will also qualify as sufficient credentials.
Step 1: Go to to an Ivy League School. Harvard or Yale would most likely do.
Step 2: Run for House of Representatives and fail. Then run for Senate and win.
Step 3: Wait for the worst President in History; George W. Bush to Leave office.
Step 4: With the opposing party in ruins, begin campaigning by appearing on Oprah with a new book.
Step 5: Make sure you go on Oprah several times, and get Oprah to reject the other party’s candidate.
Step 6: Get Oprah’s friends to give you money and endorsements.
Step 7: If elected Oprah will give away free chicken to everyone.
Step 8: Hire the best speech writer; possibly of all time.
Step 9: Script everything you are going to say during the campaign and do not stray.
Step 10: Avoid all possible debates on a National forum.
Step 11: Hire a gremlin from your Party to run against you; Hillary Clinton will do.
Step 12: Make sure you are still cool with Oprah.
Step 13: Make sure you are still cool with Oprah, The Most Powerful Black Woman in the U.S.
Step 14: Claim to be superman.
Step 15: Create your own action figures with ninja swords and Jedi light sabers.
Step 16: Get Chia Pet to make a bust of you. (Look at Ridiculous Obama Products Here.)
Step 17: Become one of the greatest Celebrity Fads in history to gain votership.
Step 18: Allow other party to run McCain/Palin. The battered Vietnam Vet that is 150 years old and an Alaskan Soccer Mom.
Step 19: Let the other party fall apart some more.
Step 20: Wait for that sweet smell of victory.
The rest is history folks. (Only word of advice, get Ketchup on your burger or everyone freaks out) Feel free to comment.
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