Before this campaign, I had checked out. All I felt I could do was hope for the grace of God to spare my family suffering for what our leaders had done.
I had no belief in my ability to do anything to change the direction in which my family was being dragged.
I thought corruption was to ingrained in our politics and no one would ever stand up against it.
I thought this country was being sold out from under us by those who were suppose to protect it. I felt ashamed to be associated with the Iraq war, yet powerless to stop it.
I felt isolated from my neighbors, from so many people in my country.
I felt judged for being me.
I judged others by the stereotypes that have been trumpeted as fact.
"Republican's are all greedy, racist, religious zealots, White's can't see past skin color to a person's humanity. We are still by-and-large a racist country."
I thought we were all as apathetic and worn down as I was.
I had no real pride in America left.
How could I when American's were being victimized by our leaders. Lied to incessantly to fight and die in wars that had nothing to do with us.
For a moment after 9/11, we were united in our grief. The world grieved for us, the world was with us. Then we lost all of that and now we are alone in this God forsaken war. We are more divided than ever. How did our leadership botch that up? I saw it happening. I saw the tricks used on us but I was powerless to save any lives. I was powerless to hold on to that sense of unity that we had for that moment.
Like most, I sought escape.
I watched a lot of TV, Constantly escaped the sadness by planning and going on fantasy vacations because I required fantasy to get through. I wanted to give my children some sort of joy before they had to see the truth. I wanted to create for them a storehouse of joy from which they could withdraw when they became adults in a world that would surely be worse than it is today.
I knew about Darfur, The Congo, Sudan and that nothing was really being done to help those people, but what could I do.
Our schools are not really functioning so I took my girls out and homeschooled, I tried private. We have a little money so we moved to a district with a good school system. What about the rest of our kids? I knew I was "leaving children behind" when I took mine out of poor schools.
Katrina happened and it leveled me. I literally nearly had a nervous breakdown. I saw us, the American people, trying to work together. I saw our leaders work against us.
I literally cried out in despair. God do you see us? Do you care? Is this the way it has to be?
I know God heard me because I have been pulled out of mind-numbing apathy. I have turned off the TV. My fantasy vacations are on hold. I am involved in a political campaign for the first time in my life. Iowa, New Hampshire and Nevada showed me that white americans could see past my blackness and embrace me as the human being I am. They saw past Obama's. They saw his greatness. I can't tell you how healing that is for a black woman who has suffered direct racism in communities where my family was one of only a few black families. The people of Iowa, Nevada and New Hampshire, showed me times are changing. My children can hope for better. They are growing up the way I did, in a community with little to no blacks. They have had to deal with racist comments from school mates. They have very few friends. Prior to moving to this community, they were extremely popular. We lived in black communities prior to moving here. I thought what has changed about them? Nothing. The stereotypes and fear are working against them. With Iowa I saw hope that maybe they will be seen as children, just children. They are beautiful, friendly, loving children.
The race button has become inoperative in me. It was a button that could be pushed that would stir up in me so much pain, anger and sadness. It would cause me to stay in the house instead of engage my neighbors. I would isolate myself and if I did engage, it was with great anxiety, fear of rejection and trepidation. It would cause me to worry endlessly about my children's social lives and if they would ever have friends in our community. It would cause me to just not get involved because what would really change? The problem to me was division. The problem to me was that I knew I was American but didn't feel that many of my countrymen thought I was American or even wanted me here. What would change for me if a new politician got into office? What would change for my children? The problem to me was how isolated we all are from eachother. How we don't know eachother so we rely on stereotypes and then when we come into contact with eachother, we are afraid of eachother. This is our greatest problem and it is dragging us all down. I grew up middle class. We are an upper middle class family now with all the trappings you could want. Their has always been blacks like us who have the trappings, their children have the trappings, yet we are isolated and outside of the fold. We still don't feel like we are welcomed part of the society. We still feel as though no matter how great we are, we will always be seen through racial stereotypes. That is so painful.
Iowa was a balm for my soul. It was a healing salve for my wounds. It woke me up to the truth about human beings. They can and will fight past conditioning and programming. Not every one of a color is the same. I knew this about blacks because I am black, and knew I wasn't my stereotype but I had never seen such a profound action against the white stereotype. I know now for a fact, that there are white people who are fighting to get a great man elected because they truly believe in him. I've worked with them. I've talked to them. I know that they are just as anxious as me to see this country united. I didn't know white people were as tired as black people of having their buttons pushed. I didn't know they felt the division as deeply as I do. They responded to the call for a United States. That was the true strength of his message. This is the United States of America. He tapped into the isolation and division that is causing us all real pain. That is why we are tired. That is why we feel hopeless. That is why we won't get involved. We are tired of being turned against each other to advance someone's political agenda. We are tired of being afraid of eachother. We know we will be stronger if we unite. My whole world has opened up and it will never close again. I will not go back to that life.
I've been having this on-going conversation through email with this amazing white sister (more like a mother because of our age difference). God sent her to me. She reminds me almost exactly of my mother. I haven't met her, but I am sure she is one of the greatest people I have ever known. I never would have known a white woman like her existed, one who is just like my mom, if not for this campaign and how it has inspired us to talk to each other. She's a fighter. She's angry that we are not choosing to be better. She's brave, She's brilliant. She's compassionate. She's resourceful, She's completely involved. She corrects my spelling and tells me how to improve my writing just like my mom. She tells me to rest and advises me to use all sorts of natural health stuff just like my mom. This is healing. We talk about everything that we have never been able to talk about with each other (blacks and whites). Politics and race. We haven't blown up yet. I never knew we could have those conversations but those are the conversations we have to be brave enough to have. We can't just talk amongst ourselves.
My race button has been de-activated. There is no way I am going back to that life. When I see someone spouting hatred for a group, I know it is because they've either been isolated from that group thus have not really had human interaction with that group or they have had some bad experiences with that group. Those kind of experiences are made possible because in some cases we have not been allowed, whether through isolation or pre-programming to see each others humanity, so we then feel it is ok to treat each other like crap. The division then becomes perpetuated.
The situation with the dems and republicans is becoming just as bad as it has been for blacks and whites. We see each other in stereotypes. That is the weapon our politicians have used to win us over to one side or the other. I am not buying it anymore. I am watching how these politicians run their campaigns. If they are using divisive tactics to win, I will consider them a danger to progress and I will not vote for them be they Democrat or Republican. I will not settle.
That’s why I admire Obama so much, he is not using our current divisions to win points for himself. He is in fact trying to heal them. That is the only way we can get our selves out of our current state of crisis. We have to be willing to listen to each other and work with each other. This is not a strategy that has won in recent memory. Tapping into and stirring up divisiveness is a proven method in winning the white house. Look where we are now. The only times we have ever moved forward dramatically as a nation is when we worked together. Division is our biggest enemy. Our infighting has cost us a great deal.
I am with Obama to the very end. I pray that end is the white house. I pray we end the divisiveness that has weighed on all of our hearts. If our fears and ignorance weren't so easily used to manipulate us, we would have never gone to Iraq. We would have known that just because Iraq is an Islamic nation does not mean that the people of Iraq were associated with Al-Quaeda. We have been lead to believe that Islam=terrorism. That is how that slanderous email has been able to take root in the minds of many people. They have had their fear buttons pushed
They have been led to believe that Islam=terrorism.
As hard as it has been to be black in this country. I don't know how my muslim american brothers and sisters are doing it right now. How are they going out into this world that so grossly misunderstands them? How isolated must they feel? They are suffering.
We as a country are suffering. Innocent children, families in Iraq are suffering. Our men fighting over there are suffering. We are spending so many billions over their that our economy is suffering.
It is time for us to save ourselves. We have to begin to educate ourselves about each other. We have to seek each other out and interact with each other so that we cannot be manipulated into fearing and fighting against each other for interests that are not our own. We have to take back our voice. The elite who run this nation right now, have told us what to think and therefore have ruled our actions. We are acting against our own best interest. They have given us fear and separation and they have taken from us our country.
Do we choose to hold on to the fear? Do we choose the division? Is that more valuable than our country? We get to go to war for them and in return we get to live in fear and isolation. We get to have our country sold to the highest bidder. What we get in return is the false sense of security of being able to look down at someone. We may have schools that are under-funded but at least we aren't Muslim. We may have lost a ton of jobs but that's because of those rotten republicans. We may be in a ton of debt but at least we are God-fearing Christians unlike those Godless democrats. We may have cancer and not be able to pay our medical bills but at least we aren't black at least we aren't Mexican. We may be struggling to make it from one paycheck to the next while someone high up and far away makes off with a ton of our tax money or collects interest from our debts but at least......
You see, we have been given our superiority complexes in place of a government that will protect and serve our country. We are paying such a high price to look down at our fellow human beings. Our children are paying such a high price. The most important thing any of can do in our life time is to reach out to the ones you have been set against. That is it. Nothing on earth can be more important.
I support Obama not because of that word that has had all meaning "boiled and stewed" out of it by others who thought they could fool us into believing that they knew what we wanted and could deliver it to us. I support Obama because of that other word that no one seems to have caught on to. Unity. That is our answer. When the United States of America becomes United, we can begin to heal the ills that have caused us all the problems we are now facing. We will just be putting a temporary bandage on our problems if we don’t heal the disease that caused them. Heal division. Embrace Unity. We must be the United States of America.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AmUUYo9o9eg
Fired Up Ready To Go!!!
YES WE CAN!!!
Obama '08
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