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Post from
IndianaShame TeardropsForKatelynn's Blog
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In America 75% Rates At Which Batterers Get Custody Of The Children
By
Indianashame Teardropsforkatelynn
- Nov 8th, 2008 at 11:26 am EST
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Rates At Which Batterers Recieve Custody
by Joan Meier, Esq.
One statement in Breaking the Silence: Children's Voices that has provoked controversy was my statement that "the studies are showing" that up to 2/3 of accused or adjudicated batterers receive joint or sole custody in court. While no empirical study can definitively determine a universal statistical rate, the key point is that the research consistently shows that accused and adjudicated batterers receive joint or sole custody disturbingly often. This confirms the anecdotal experience of domestic violence attorneys and victims around the country. The following research supports this perspective.
I. A History of Domestic Violence is Common among Contested Custody Cases.
The remarkably consistent research on this issue is compiled in my previously-issued statement , Research Indicating that the majority of cases that go to court as 'high conflict' contested custody cases have a history of domestic violence (Nov. 9, 2005).
One good example is a study cited by Janet Johnston, a leading researcher of parental alienation, which found that, among custody litigants referred to mediation, "[p]hysical aggression had occurred between 75% and 70% of the parents . . . even though the couples had been separated. . . [for an average of 30-42 months]". Furthermore, [i]n 35% of the first sample and 48% of the second, [the violence] was denoted as severe and involved battering and threatening to use or using a weapon."
- Janet R. Johnston, "High-Conflict Divorce," The Future of Children, Vol. 4, No. 1, Spring 1994, 165-182) citing Depner et al., "Building a uniform statistical reporting system: A snapshot of California Family Court Services," Family and ConciliationCourts Review (1992) 30: 185-206
II. Domestic Violence Perpetrators are More Likely to Contest Custody than Non- Abusers.
The American Psychological Association's Presidential Task Force on Violence in the Family, the leading review of the research as of 1996, found that men who abuse their partners contest custody at least twice as often as non-abusing fathers. They are even more likely to contest custody if the children are boys.
- American Psychological Association Presidential Task Force on Violence in the Family (1996) at p. 40.
III. Accused and Adjudicated Batterers Receive Joint or Sole Custody Surprisingly Often.
The research on this has only emerged in the past few years and most studies have been small and local. Nonetheless, they document disturbing trends, which surprised even me when I first discovered them.
A. Multiple studies have documented gender bias against women in custody litigation.
Contrary to the conventional wisdom that women are favored in custody litigation, both the experiences of battered women and the empirical research are showing that women who allege abuse are deeply disfavored in custody courts.
The Massachusetts Supreme Judicial Court Gender Bias Task Force was one of the first states to document the gender bias against women in family courts. This court-initiated study expressly found that "our research contradicted [the] perception" that "there is a bias in favor of women in these decisions." Moreover, it found that "in determining custody and visitation, many judges and family service officers do not consider violence toward women relevant." The Court's study further found that "the courts are demanding more of mothers than fathers in custody disputes" and that "many courts put the needs of noncustodial fathers above those of custodial mothers and children."
- Gender Bias Study of the Court System in Massachusetts, 24 New Eng.L.Rev. 745, 747, 825, 846 (1990)
More recently, and since the evolution and widespread adoption of "parental alienation syndrome," a multi-year, four-phase study using qualitative and quantitative social science research methodologies by the Wellesley Centers for Women found "a consistent pattern of human rights abuses" by family courts, including failure to protect battered women and children from abuse, discriminating against and inflicting degrading treatment on battered women, and denying battered women due process. Histories of abuse of mother and children were routinely ignored or discounted.
- Wellesley Centers for Women Battered Mothers' Testimony Project, Battered Mothers Speak Out: A Human Rights Report on Domestic Violence and Child Custody in the Massachusetts Family Courts (Nov. 2002)(hereafter "BMTP"), Executive Summary at 2.
A comparable study by the Arizona Coalition Against Domestic Violence found that most of the women surveyed felt the history of abuse was not taken seriously and that they were ignored, disrespected and discriminated against by court personnel.
- Arizona Coalition Against Domestic Violence, Battered Mothers' Testimony Project: A Human Rights Approach to Child Custody and Domestic Violence (June 2003), pp. 47, 49, 6.
A study of the Domestic Relations Division of Philadelphia Family Court conducted by the Philadephia Women's Law Project in cooperation with the court, found that litigants are often denied due process, and that applicable legal standards are "not always observed, particularly in the consideration of abuse in custody proceedings, leaving families at risk."
- Tracy, Fromson & Miller, Justice in the Domestic Relations Division of Philadelphia Family Court: A Report to the Community, DOMESTIC VIOLENCE REPORT, Vol. 8, No. 6 (Aug/Sept. 2003), p. 94.
B. Studies show Accused and Adjudicated Batterers Receiving Sole or Joint Custody Surprisingly Often.
My own survey of the case law in 2001 identified 38 appellate state court decisions concerning custody and domestic violence. To my astonishment, 36 of the 38 trial courts had awarded joint or sole custody to alleged and adjudicated batterers. Two-thirds of these decisions were reversed on appeal.
- Meier, Domestic Violence, Child Custody, and Child Protection: Understanding Judicial Resistance and Imagining the Solutions, A.U. J. Gender, Soc. Pol. & the Law, 11:2 (2003), 657-731, p. 662, n. 19, and Appendix.
These cases included a case in which the perpetrator had been repeatedly convicted of domestic assault; in which a father was given sole custody of a16-month old despite his undisputed choking of the mother resulting in her hospitalization and his arrest; in which the father had broken the mother's collarbone; had committed "occasional incidents of violence"; and had committed two admitted assaults. More such instances can be found in Meier, supra.
The American Judges Association has found that approximately 70% of batterers succeed in convincing authorities that the victim is unfit for or undeserving of sole custody. Another way of saying this is that 70% of batterers obtain sole or joint custody.
- American Judges Association, "Domestic Violence and the Courtroom: Understanding the Problem . . . Knowing the Victim" http://aja.ncsc.dni.us/domviol/page5.html (at "Forms of Emotional Battering. . . Threats to Harm or Take Away Children")
A survey of battered women by the Arizona Coalition Against Domestic Violence found that courts awarded joint or sole custody to the alleged batterers 56-74% of the time (depending on the county). Many of these cases involved documented child abuse or adult abuse.
- Arizona Coalition Against Domestic Violence, Battered Mothers' Testimony Project: A Human Rights Approach to Child Custody and Domestic Violence (June 2003), pp. 33-34, 47-49
A study of 300 cases over a 10-year period in which the mother sought to protect the child from sexual abuse, found that 70% resulted in unsupervised visitation or shared custody; in 20% of the cases the mothers completely lost custody, and many of these lost all visitation rights.
- Neustein & Goetting (1999), "Judicial Responses to the Protective Parent's Complaint of Child Sexual Abuse," Journal of Child Sexual Abuse 8 (4): 103-122.
The Wellesley Battered Mothers' Testimony Project found that 15 out of 40 cases resulted in sole or joint physical custody to the fathers, all of whom had abused both the mother and the children.
- BMTP, supra at Appendix A.
The Massachusetts Supreme Judicial Court Gender Bias Task Force found that 94% of fathers who actively sought custody received sole or joint custody, regardless of whether there was a history of abuse. While fathers received primary physical custody 29% of the time, mothers received primary physical custody in only 7% of the contested cases. The Study also cited other research which similarly found that fathers who sought custody received primary physical custody 2/3 of the time, with mothers receiving it less than ¼ of the time; and another study which found that fathers seeking custody received joint or sole custody 79% of the time, with mothers receiving sole custody in only 15% of those cases (compared to fathers' sole custody in 41% of the cases).
- Gender Bias Study at 831-832 and citing Middlesex Divorce Research Group relitigation study and Phear et al., 1983.
While the Massachusetts study and those it cited were not able to identify what proportion of the contesting fathers were batterers, the studies cited in my other Statement indicate consistently that 75% of cases have a history of domestic violence, with a substantial proportion of severe violence. Hence, it is likely that a substantial proportion of the fathers receiving joint or primary physical custody in this study had committed domestic violence.
- Meier Statement, Research Indicating that the Majority of Cases that go to Court as 'High Conflict' Contested Custody Cases have a History of Domestic Violence (Nov. 9, 2005).
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Mangled Lives |
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By
Elizabeth from New York, NY
Nov 8th 2008 at 6:50 pm EST (Updated Nov 8th 2008 at 6:50 pm EST)
Joan Meier has spoken for all those children who cannot. She has spoken for the many protective mothers who cannot. I am one who sought divorce to protect myself and my children when nothing else and no agency could or would help. Custody went to a being who tried to kill me. I am alive -thanks to my own wits and determination. My children are- maybe alive- I don't know. I didn't know from the time the youngest was 5 .Even paying for their- continued abuse- I didn't know.
Often, I cannot speak/write. The events are too- mind boggling and life crushing. So,for Joan Meier to speak for me/us and the millions across North America- is spirit lifting. I hope "the powers that be" -are able to hear.I am in another country-by the way- in N.America. Same problem.Same agony.Thank you.
Such inadequate words for this act.
keep it real, you aren't |
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Teri from Concord, CA
Nov 9th 2008 at 1:12 am EST (Updated Nov 9th 2008 at 1:12 am EST)
This post is very gender-biased and incorrect. The documentary you referenced was declared inaccurate after an investigation by CPB.
Link
They even had to make a new film telling the truth.
Link
PLEASE don't make this become a feminist man-hating site! I'm a female liberal and I volunteer fighting for parents' rights, including fathers. Mostly fathers.
The domestic violence industry and feminists have swamped the media, even govt websites with myths and lies about male batterers. The other day the men won in the supreme court on appeal, that men deserve equal dv services as women. In NJ they finally won an order saying TRO's are given out to easily to women.
Please stop the lies and misandry. Learn the truth:
Link
http://www.mensnewsdaily.com/2 006/11/06/is-misandry-protecti ng-mothers-who-murder-and-maim /
Link
http://www.mediaradar.org/
MOST parents who fight for custody, including fathers, do it out of LOVE. MOST of them are very fit parents.
60-80% of domestic violence reports are found too be unnecessary or false! This has been proven.
Link
Re: keep it real, you aren't |
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Hope from Manchester, NH
Nov 9th 2008 at 7:39 am EST (Updated Nov 9th 2008 at 7:39 am EST)
teri, Your links are gender bias. When it comes to child abuse, the child's welfare is the issue not a parent's so called rights. There is no right to beat, ridicule, torture, rape or kill one's child.
No one has a right to abuse another. Joan is 100% accurate.
Re: keep it real, you aren't |
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Anonymum from Beverly Hills, CA
Nov 9th 2008 at 7:44 am EST (Updated Nov 9th 2008 at 7:44 am EST)
Its obvious with "Mens Daily News" who is being bias here.
Re: keep it real, you aren't |
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Captain Justice Mike Russo
Nov 25th 2008 at 4:47 pm EST (Updated Nov 25th 2008 at 4:47 pm EST)
If what you say is true, then why isn't called Violence Against People Act?
Biased? you bet, but not the way you say.
Re: keep it real, you aren't |
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Paul from Gaffney, SC
Nov 9th 2008 at 4:49 pm EST (Updated Nov 9th 2008 at 4:49 pm EST)
Teri's links are NOT gender biased, they are TRUTHFUL. If you fear them because they challenge the feminazi party line, that's good. You've obviously been fed a ration of lies by man-hating feminists, and haven't the reasoning ability to think things out for yourself. Learn to read, then study the existing research.
You said, "NO ONE HAS THE RIGHT TO ABUSE ANOTHER."
You're wrong about that. One group has been GIVEN that right by the feminazi party. There is evidence of domestic violence in approx. 24% of heterosexual relationships, equally divided between male and female perpetrators. But there is a 46% rate in LESBIAN relationships. But the profiteers of the domestic violence industry never mention that, thereby giving THOSE abusers a free hand to abuse, a RIGHT to abuse, if you will. Truth is, domestic violence is a POLITICAL issue, intended more to demonize men than to prevent violence.
Re: keep it real, you aren't |
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Teri from Concord, CA
Nov 11th 2008 at 11:53 pm EST (Updated Nov 11th 2008 at 11:53 pm EST)
Does it matter what publications have my articles on their site? They're also on ifeminists.net. What matters are the facts. My writing includes the most recent science-based statistics.
Most feminist writers use outdated, misquoted and debunked statistics. I'm an egalitarian who spent 35 years caring for children. I tell the truth, for the kids.
Re: keep it real, you aren't |
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Anonymum from Beverly Hills, CA
Nov 13th 2008 at 11:30 pm EST (Updated Nov 13th 2008 at 11:30 pm EST)
Note:
Compelled to use the word "truthful" in capital letters in yet another attempt to twist facts and conceal domestic violence.
Re: keep it real, you aren't |
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Indianashame Teardropsforkatelynn
Nov 10th 2008 at 2:46 pm EST (Updated Nov 10th 2008 at 2:46 pm EST)
This is real and let tell you something I don't care anyone's rights but the right of any child to be free and safe from abuse! I don't care who is doing the abuse it needs to stop! But people that make those statements help keep the silence going and the abuse. It really doesn't matter what others say. Let this come out in an open court where all evidence is submitted and due process is followed! Battered anyone has the right to the same rights and protections under the law.
62% my butt!?
Re: keep it real, you aren't |
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Indianashame Teardropsforkatelynn
Nov 11th 2008 at 4:39 pm EST (Updated Nov 11th 2008 at 4:39 pm EST)
and I know you mean Feninazi in the nicest sense of the word like as compliment? Right? Instead of name calling try to act like adults and just discuss the issues. Much like Joe Friday said "just the facts please"
you know your message would get heard a little better if it wasn't insulting half the population.
B. this is my blog and your welcome to start your own and put up all the information you wish to have on it and "name calling" as well but not on this one. I have already deleted some that have been using profanity and name calling and will continue not have this childish behavior. Thank you.
Re: keep it real, you aren't |
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Captain Justice Mike Russo
Nov 25th 2008 at 4:49 pm EST (Updated Nov 25th 2008 at 4:49 pm EST)
ahhh..do you smell what you are shovelling?
Re: keep it real, you aren't |
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Captain Justice Mike Russo
Nov 25th 2008 at 5:01 pm EST (Updated Nov 25th 2008 at 5:01 pm EST)
I am going to take a deep breath, and comment tomorrow.
Re: keep it real, you aren't |
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US from Clifton, NJ
Nov 11th 2008 at 9:33 am EST (Updated Nov 11th 2008 at 9:33 am EST)
Teri's had 4 children with 4 different fathers. She kept divorcing them because they didn't treat her right. Maybe they abused her and her kids I don't know. She's certainly not a person I would seek out to ask whats best for children. Bringing different men in and out of your children's lives is not what a good mother would do for her kids.
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Teri from Concord, CA
Nov 12th 2008 at 12:06 am EST (Updated Nov 12th 2008 at 12:06 am EST)
Go away Janet. Your slander and lies are ugly.
Re: keep it real, you aren't |
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Nelly from Clifton Heights, PA
Nov 17th 2008 at 5:45 pm EST (Updated Nov 17th 2008 at 5:45 pm EST)
Media RADAR is a sham!
Should be "reporting fallacy in domestic violence reporting..."
They only discuss female-perpetrated violence, don't mention males pose the greatest risks to males, say they "debunked' the pregnancy-homicide 'myth' and TAKE QUOTES OUT OF CONTEXT.
They are unethical and have malicious aims.
nonsense |
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Don from Alhambra, CA
Nov 9th 2008 at 1:37 am EST (Updated Nov 9th 2008 at 1:37 am EST)
Breaking the Silence: Children's Voices was the title of a discredited PBS special last year. Even the PBS and CPB ombudsmen came down hard on it for its anti-male, anti-dad bias. Joan Meier was featured in it and her statements were likewise discredited. Nevertheless she persists in these and is rapidly becoming a caricature of herself. I think it is fair to say that the sources, including Meier, represent extremist feminism because once the fabrications are parsed, their hateful motives are clear.
It is unfortunate to saddle the new President with this brand of feminism. However it may be unavoidable because the same theme is written into the language of the VAWA Bill which was sponsored by Biden. The Bill itself is unfortunate because it gives the impression that it is boosting the entitlement of women at the expense of domestic violence victims. Worse, the impression has been carried forward in the words, actions, and expenditures of the bureaucracy catering to the Bill. Many have tried to refocus the bill on victims, but Biden has resisted which is odd because Biden has publicly retold the story of his own sister as perpetrator of domestic violence.
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Anonymum from Beverly Hills, CA
Nov 9th 2008 at 7:52 am EST (Updated Nov 9th 2008 at 7:52 am EST)
It just goes to show how much of a problem these bullies are in our society that PBS were so intimidated by them that it became discredited.
Speaking of battered mothers is not anti male, anti father.
What is anti male and anti father is encouraging the silencing of victims and supporting these abhorrent attitudes.
Re: nonsense |
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617SADDADS
Nov 9th 2008 at 3:38 pm EST (Updated Nov 9th 2008 at 3:38 pm EST)
Anonymum from Beverly Hills,
Get your facts straight, oh wait in the feminist checklist of abuse talking logical is abuse. PBS would not have stop the undocumentary unless it was extremely clear that this bias antifamily feminist proganda show wasn't completely false.
You live in a state that just declared that the shelters and DV programs have been bias against men but you continue to keep your head in the stand and assumed only women are abused. Sorry to burst your bubble, but women are just as capable of physical damage.
Silence of victims, the true victims are the children who experience PAS by vindictive Parents who use them as PAWNS in their game of retribution.
Please get your facts together before speaking it only makes you look at stupid as Joan Meier
Re: nonsense |
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Anonymum from Beverly Hills, CA
Nov 10th 2008 at 12:40 am EST (Updated Nov 10th 2008 at 12:40 am EST)
Its been acknowledge as a human right, the european assembly acknowledges that this indeed is a fact and does go on in family courts:
Link
The true vindictive parents are:
The ones who continue to support beating women and children
The ones who Silence them
Re: nonsense |
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Indianashame Teardropsforkatelynn
Nov 10th 2008 at 2:47 pm EST (Updated Nov 10th 2008 at 2:47 pm EST)
Amen!
Re: nonsense |
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Indianashame Teardropsforkatelynn
Nov 10th 2008 at 3:08 pm EST (Updated Nov 10th 2008 at 3:08 pm EST)
You know all that name calling against Joan Meir and insulting comments are hardly productive or necessary. It is ok to disagree it is not ok to call others "stupid" "lies to a donkey" "feminist" using this term as an insult, or this is childish, sophomric behavior and it in no ways adds truth or enlightens anyone on what is going on to anyside one way or the other.
We would best served to have an open, intelligent dialogue without the petty, childish name calling and insults that possible we could all learn from.
If this cannot be done than I suggest whoever is doing this behavior set up a blog of their own and than rant and rave, insult and name call to your hearts content. Not on this blog though.
Re: nonsense |
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Indianashame Teardropsforkatelynn
Nov 11th 2008 at 4:40 pm EST (Updated Nov 11th 2008 at 4:40 pm EST)
Prove it! With Fact!
If we could just get the Misandry out! |
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Robert from Houston, TX
Nov 9th 2008 at 5:59 am EST (Updated Nov 9th 2008 at 5:59 am EST)
Obviously, folks like Joan Meier have an agenda. The bottom line for them is persecution of males. If one looks closer such becomes plainly apparent. Thinking like her's represents the failing of the women's movement.
Take another group with which she affiliates: Justice for Children (JFC) . In Houston Texas Justice for Children defended the film Breaking Silence: Children's Stories when after a national outcry it was pulled from the CPB-PBS airwaves for being erroneous and outright sexist. Justice for Children also demonstrated its sexism in a May 2, 2007 interview of one who was to be loaned to it to work for it, Alene Levy, attorney from the law firm Haynes and Boone, Llp. In the interview she says "when a mother discloses child sexual abuse on the part of the father, she is correct". Then she goes on to say " a father will then retaliate by claiming parental alienation especially in a lawsuit over custody". So you see one but go to the web site of JFC to see that it repudiates the credibility of a known epidemic of Parental Alienation across this country.
I dont have to go far to know that Parental Alienation exists. I experienced it. I was also falsely accused of sexual abuse of my daughter. Her mother, a severe level alienator, got free 'help' from JFC, which gave her two free lawyers from Fulbright and Jaworski, Llp.I had no lawyer for the trial I call a lynching. I learned later that her mother was out committing three felonies while getting their free help. Today my fdaughter now 23 dropped out of high school and started making babies herself. At least one of the babies is estranged from its own father.
So to go back to Joan's theories, if one but remove the fundamentally flawed and useless gender bias from her notions and beliefs, one might at least make some sense out of what she purports. Abusers do get custody in family courts. But its not always a man as an abuser that does. I would contend that in many cases this happens in courts that function as addicts and thus refuse to see and cannot allow itself to see that giving custody to the victimized would be too much like having to own its own abusiveness. Joan Meier could learn something about the basis of the roots of her own belief from
Re: If we could just get the Misandry out! |
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Indianashame Teardropsforkatelynn
Nov 10th 2008 at 3:17 pm EST (Updated Nov 10th 2008 at 3:17 pm EST)
I am letting it be known I will delete these insulting and petty comments. I am fairly warning about this.
No name calling, no insulting or asundry other negative behavior. Thank you.
Very True |
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Anonymum from Beverly Hills, CA
Nov 9th 2008 at 7:41 am EST (Updated Nov 9th 2008 at 7:41 am EST)
It is truly evident in even some of the responses. FR groups should be ashamed to want to degrade and humiliate mothers who have already been through enough. These campaigns against women speaking about violence in the public eye and out of the public eye must stop for the sake of the children and their mothers. The violence supportive attitudes is what keeps these atrocities alive. Mothers losing their children to batterers is a truly cruel and inhumane practice. These silencers are the true bullies that need to be exposed for who and what they are as their actions against vulnerable children and their mothers represents one of the lowest examples of humanity.
It is very sad that speaking of such horrors are perverted to a view that somehow speaking of this portrays something "unequal" and is against all fathers. Its as if they are trying to say that all fathers support such rogue attitudes towards mothers.
Re: Very True |
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Paul from Gaffney, SC
Nov 9th 2008 at 4:30 pm EST (Updated Nov 9th 2008 at 4:30 pm EST)
Unfortunately, it's much more common to see fathers lose contact with their children because the battering MOTHER was given custody. No one I know condones violence, but the truth is, false claims of domestic violence are commonly used against the father in divorce and custody battle.
Some estimates range as high as 80% or more for false accusations. Even the ex-president of the MA Bar Assoc admitted as much in the Bar Assoc. newsletter a few years ago. You have to be a pretty horrific mother to lose custody these days. Even then, you'll get better visitation arrangements than the best of dads.
Re: Very True |
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Anonymum from Beverly Hills, CA
Nov 10th 2008 at 12:51 am EST (Updated Nov 10th 2008 at 12:51 am EST)
Based upon empirical research, it is common for the batterer (95% Male) to mimic his victim's pleas for help and then attempt to portray to the community that he is the one whom is being battered.
Note the statement where he writes,
"but the truth is, false claims of domestic violence are commonly used against the father in divorce and custody battle"
This is a common tactic used as far as research goes to minimize and silence her pleas for help.
Re: Very True |
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Teri from Concord, CA
Nov 12th 2008 at 12:08 am EST (Updated Nov 12th 2008 at 12:08 am EST)
Geez... please get it right. That 95% stat was debunked YEARS ago. The woman who claimed it, later admitted making it up.
Re: Very True |
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Anonymum from Beverly Hills, CA
Nov 13th 2008 at 11:38 pm EST (Updated Nov 13th 2008 at 11:38 pm EST)
Debunked from Kinsey? Gardner? Perhaps other pro-pedophiliac psychologists?
You are then stating that the world data bank is incorrect, along with human rights, Nicole Kidman and Unifem. Amnesty International also acknowledges that violence is 95% against women.
Stop The silencing Campaign!
Re: Very True |
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Indianashame Teardropsforkatelynn
Nov 10th 2008 at 2:48 pm EST (Updated Nov 10th 2008 at 2:48 pm EST)
Yea I am sure you think so! I guess time to innoculate the President elect to truth huh!
Re: Very True |
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Indianashame Teardropsforkatelynn
Nov 11th 2008 at 4:43 pm EST (Updated Nov 11th 2008 at 4:43 pm EST)
I agree with you Anonamous from California studies do indeed reflect this statement is very accurate. The One I siad above was not to you please don't think so. I just noticed where the comment went. I am sorry about the misunderstanding.
Re: Very True |
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Chris from Quincy, MA
Dec 4th 2008 at 8:20 am EST (Updated Dec 4th 2008 at 8:20 am EST)
Equating 'male' with 'abuser' is what keeps Domestic Violence going. We won't progress against domestic violence until we admit that violence is a human trait, not a male one.
True Abuse/False Alienation |
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KT from Elgin, IL
Nov 9th 2008 at 7:56 am EST (Updated Nov 9th 2008 at 7:56 am EST)
The alienation label is being used in all manner of ways. The theory is not sound and is not supported by the scientific community. No one is saying that good parents should not see their children. This is a very specific custody/visitation scandal that occurs when well-financed abusers get custody. The fraud of baseless psychological testimony is the driving force behind this scandal. Also, in various communites there are groups or networks of individuals colluding who use this PAS setup to take custody away from battered mothers. These abusers sometimes spend hundreds of thousands of dollars implementing this fraud.
See this link:
Link
The True Abuse/False Alienation Scam
There are false allegations of fictitious syndromes going on all over the country and around the world. Truly, horrifically abusive men, armed with lots of money, use false allegations of Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS) as a strategy to perpetrate “family annihilation. ” Instead of doing this physically, these abusers are using family court to inflict the damage. The men who claim to be “alienated” often will repeatedly call in false abuse reports on the mother (but this is ignored in court proceedings and by the PAS accusing evaluator). These same men will attempt to “coach” the child to say bad things and make false allegations against the mother. When the child reports the father for whatever type of abuse he is doing (including parental alienation tactics), the father falsely claims alienation by the mother. It is a reign of on-going terror with the child as the ultimate victim.
There are some of the frequently occuring elements that seen over and over in the true abuse/false alienation scam. These behaviors start while still in the relationship, this is not something that occurs as a result of divorce, but they are the reason for the divorce:
Abuse frequently either begins or escalates during pregnancy.
Abuse can be physical and/or sexual.
Threatens to take the children if the victim mom leaves.
Threatens the life of the mom and/or children.
Extremely emotionally abusive and controlling.
Coercive control is constant.
Stalking.
Harassment by any means possible, phone, email or any other means of communication. Communications are with the intent to inflict emotional distress.
False accusations of infidelity.
Interferes with wife/mom’s work.
Keeps mom and kids from having friendships with other people, and relationships with her own family, wants to only be with his relatives and friends.
Financial
Re: True Abuse/False Alienation |
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617SADDADS
Nov 9th 2008 at 3:26 pm EST (Updated Nov 9th 2008 at 3:26 pm EST)
Joan Meier is either extremely stupid or has an agenda that is hurtful to children and families.
Facts are mothers get custody of children over 85 percent of the time
Facts are mothers abuse children at a much higher rate than dads
Facts are VAWA is the most destructive law ever written to hurt families and Biden should be ashamed for this law.
Facts are The documentary Breaking the Silence was debunked as batant bias against men and subsequent film had to be made
Facts are children to better when fathers are involved in a childs life
Facts are both men and women initiate violence at an equal proportion
Facts are 1/3 of the cases of abuse a female on male which made be higher to do the adverse stigma attached with males reporting they were hit by a women.
Facts are the highest rate of abuse is reported by lesbian couples, repeat lesbian couples
Re: True Abuse/False Alienation |
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Paul from Gaffney, SC
Nov 9th 2008 at 4:20 pm EST (Updated Nov 9th 2008 at 4:20 pm EST)
Some of this might have been true if the writer was talking about REAL abuse perpetrated by WOMEN against men, mothers against fathers. Since the mother gets custody in approx 90(+)% of divorces, how can the father be the main perpetrator of parental alienation. He's lucky to see his kids for a couple hours twice a month, while the vindictive mother has them 28 days a month.
To get closer to the truth, just reverse the genders in this little fabrication.
Re: True Abuse/False Alienation |
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Anonymum from Beverly Hills, CA
Nov 13th 2008 at 11:42 pm EST (Updated Nov 13th 2008 at 11:42 pm EST)
So you are trying to say that women lie but its men that are victims of violence?
That is rediculous
Re: True Abuse/False Alienation |
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Teri from Concord, CA
Nov 13th 2008 at 4:58 pm EST (Updated Nov 13th 2008 at 4:58 pm EST)
Look at this. It's gender-biased.
"Interferes with wife/mom’s work.
Keeps mom and kids from having friendships with other people, and relationships with her own family, wants to only be with his relatives and friends."
You don't think women do these things? Do your research!
Re: True Abuse/False Alienation |
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Anonymum from Beverly Hills, CA
Nov 14th 2008 at 12:02 am EST (Updated Nov 14th 2008 at 12:02 am EST)
Yes clearly there are some members that need to do their research before making unfounded statements about violence against women.
How sad there are people in the world that would like to see the abused silenced.
NCJFCJ denounces use of PAS |
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KT from Elgin, IL
Nov 9th 2008 at 8:04 am EST (Updated Nov 9th 2008 at 8:04 am EST)
Link
Responding to Allegations of Parental Alienation
By Shannon Gaskins, Associate Attorney, and Katy Yetter, Senior Attorney,
NCJFCJ Family Violence Department
Although leading legal authorities have
rejected parental alienation syndrome (PAS)
as inadmissible scientific evidence,1 many
litigants continue to use PAS as a litigation
tactic when submitting evidence regarding the
best interest of the child in contested custody
cases.
Parents may use PAS and its evidentiary
cousins to support assertions that the other
parent is engaging in alienating behaviors in
order to thwart their parenting. Examples of
alienating behavior allegations are that one
parent:
• directly undermines the child’s relationship
with the other parent;
• actively denigrates the other parent;
• encourages the child to express negative
sentiments about the other parent to an
assessor or the court;
• fails or refuses to facilitate access or
contact with the other parent;
• or arranges activities that interfere with
contact with the other parent.
While these behaviors are not always
proof that one parent is seeking to alienate
the child’s affection from the other parent, according
to participants at a recent conference
seminar on child alienation,2 courts are being
encouraged to factor in such “alienating” behavior
when making custody determinations
in “high-conflict” cases.
In family court, “high-conflict” cases
are marked by the parties’ mutual mistrust of
each other, leading to cycles of reaction and
counter-reaction, which further erode the possibility
of trust between parties.3 However,
in cases involving the abuse of one parent by
the other or the abuse of the child by a parent,
allegations addressing such abuse should not
be confused with the alienating behaviors that
may occur in high-conflict cases. Abuse cases
may have high-conflict components, but they
require a different set of considerations in order
to promote safety for the victim parent and
child.
Many custody cases that involve domestic
violence have never been properly screened
or assessed for abuse of an adult partner or
child. A careful judge, however, will observe
when one partner exhibits abusive, even violent,
attitudes and behaviors designed to exert
inappropriate control over other family
members.4 If appropriate screening does not
take place, the court may “see” a high-conflict
case, rather than a domestic violence case. Accordingly,
many of the safeguards that would
normally be in place for victim parents are not
in place because the case has been inappropriately
labeled “high conflict.”
Considering the context of the behavior
is a necessary
NY Helps Protective Parents |
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KT from Elgin, IL
Nov 9th 2008 at 9:03 am EST (Updated Nov 9th 2008 at 9:03 am EST)
Protective Parent Bill Passes in New York State
Introduced by Assemblymember Bing and Senator Duane, Bill # S6201/A7089, passed the NYS Assembly and NYS Senate. This bill has been signed into law by Governor Paterson.
Specifically the bill states that:
"IF A PARENT MAKES A GOOD FAITH ALLEGATION BASED ON A REASONABLE BELIEF SUPPORTED BY FACTS THAT THE CHILD IS THE VICTIM OF CHILD ABUSE, CHILD NEGLECT, OR THE EFFECTS OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, AND IF THAT PARENT ACTS LAWFULLY AND IN GOOD FAITH IN RESPONSE TO THAT REASONABLE BELIEF TO PROTECT THE CHILD OR SEEK TREATMENT FOR THE CHILD, THEN THAT PARENT SHALL NOT BE DEPRIVED OF CUSTODY, VISITATION OR CONTACT WITH THE CHILD, OR RESTRICTED IN CUSTODY, VISITATION OR CONTACT, BASED SOLELY ON THAT BELIEF OR THE REASONABLE ACTIONS TAKEN BASED ON THAT BELIEF. IF AN ALLEGATION THAT A CHILD IS ABUSED IS SUPPORTED BY A PREPONDERANCE OF THE EVIDENCE, THEN THE COURT SHALL CONSIDER SUCH EVIDENCE OF ABUSE IN DETERMINING THE VISITATION ARRANGEMENT THAT IS IN THE BEST INTEREST OF THE CHILD, AND THE COURT SHALL NOT PLACE A CHILD IN THE CUSTODY OF A PARENT WHO PRESENTS A SUBSTANTIAL RISK OF HARM TO THAT CHILD."
NOW New York State has lobbied in support of this legislation since it's introduction early in 2007. So-called fathers rights organizaton have commonly accused mothers who report abuse of "parental alienation syndrome." Parental alienation syndrome is not recognized as a valid "syndrome" or "disorder" by any valid psychological or psychiatric association. It was developed as a litigation strategy to defend against abuse allegations. It is virtually never discussed, much less used, in situations except for contested child custody cases that take place in family/divorce court.
Men who ask for custody of their children often get it, whether or not they have a history of violence. An abusive man is more likely than a nonviolent father to seek sole physical custody of his children and may be just as likely (or even more likely) to be awarded custody as the mother (APA, 1994). As a result of reporting child abuse, only 27% of mothers were left with custody after court proceedings. 97% of the mothers reported that court personnel ignored or minimized reports of abuse and that they were punished for trying to protect their children. In this same study, 45% of the mothers say they were labeled as having Parental Alienation Syndrome
Re: NY Helps Protective Parents |
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Bob from Alpine, CA
Nov 9th 2008 at 10:56 am EST (Updated Nov 9th 2008 at 10:56 am EST)
The Right to Alienate.
There is a serious problem in our family courts. Nobody has the right to beat their spouse and should be punished for doing so. That is the role of the criminal court not the family court. In California, and it appears in NY as well, Family Court is where our constitutional rights are being violated. A person can be stripped of their property and relationship with their kids based on a preponderance of the evidence of a Domestic Violence Allegation. Is that due process? Shouldn't it at least be clear and convincing that the perpetrator of domestic violence be correctly identified and tried? The advantage is with women in these cases because the man is stronger physically. That satisfies the preponderance of the evidence without further discussion. That is wrong.
What happens next is, based on a "conviction by unproven allegation", courts award custody to the alleged victim by default. Children are suffering from PAS and doing so with the blessings of the supporters these types of laws, and the parent who uses the court system to punish his or her spouse. It is no secret that almost all couples have domestic disturbances in their relationships, the problem I see is that there is no distinction between severe abuse (using weapons, causing injuries requiring hospitalization, etc.) versus mutual low level violence (yelling, slamming, pushing). Neither of these behaviors are acceptable. Neither is it acceptable to deprive children of both because they argue too much.
Parenting education is essential. I (my spouse has not) recently participated in the Kids Turn program in Ca, and they site PAS as a problem, not as a litigation argument, but how it impacts the children. How it leads children to suicide, self mutilation, drugs, teen pregnancy, gang, and violence. What is missing from this discussion is battles over custody are really battles over who has the right to Alienate the children from the other parent. If a parent is given custody every other weekend is considered joint custody, then consider the fairness to the child. I would argue that the child would beg to differ.
Children need both parents. Due process protects the deterioration of our society. Lets stop playing I Win, You Lose, at the expense of our children.
Re: NY Helps Protective Parents |
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Marie from Reno, NV
Nov 9th 2008 at 5:00 pm EST (Updated Nov 9th 2008 at 5:00 pm EST)
Do you really think that it works this way???I too think that a spouse should not assault and batter the other. Which is why when it happened to me, in front of our 4yr old child who was also being abused, I called the police, he confessed, and then I filed for a divorce. He has loads of money. so to make a long story short, i no longer get to see my child, he has sole custody. I have been driven to bankruptcy by the corrupt court appointed personel. I have lost my job due to the continued harrasment by my ex towards my sloe client. I have lost my home, my pets, my savings and after a longstanding career at the top of my industry, I do computor cabling design work, I am on disability with sever PTSD.
Wake up, the family court is nothing more than a money machine that only works properly for poor folks, as there is no assests nor manoy to be sucked out of them by "court appointed professionals". Sad part is, he had no interest in fatherhood before the divorce, his only goal is to destroy me, and the only way for him to do that is to continue to abuse our child while I can do nothing about it.
Re: NY Helps Protective Parents |
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Dads have no Rights
Nov 10th 2008 at 10:33 am EST (Updated Nov 10th 2008 at 10:33 am EST)
Notice that the Feminist laws always insist on a "Preponderance of the Evidence" standard, one that requires little more than an alegation, to remove rights, is that why New Jersy just ruled that the Preponderance Standard is unconstitutional for PPOs, because they know that the POE standard holds no credible evidentiary weight. NOWs legislation might be reasonable if they used Beyond all reasonable doubt, or maybe even the Clear and Convincing Standard, but heck then they would have to prove their claims, and I guess having to prove something before it can be used in court is abusing women, better to abuse men by what used to be called smear campaigns.
would NOW be for using the Preponderance of the Evidence standard as it relates to the women making the claims? Oh wait, NOW already got that removed from admissable evidence.
Re: NY Helps Protective Parents |
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Anonymum from Beverly Hills, CA
Nov 13th 2008 at 11:57 pm EST (Updated Nov 13th 2008 at 11:57 pm EST)
How much evidence is required for the batterer to prove that he did not do it?
Re: NY Helps Protective Parents |
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Tom from Bedford, NY
Nov 9th 2008 at 4:21 pm EST (Updated Nov 9th 2008 at 4:21 pm EST)
I am a good father - I would never abuse any of my children - I asked for custody of my children and I was refused. I know many fathers who fall into the same catagory and also were refused custody. Everyone knows this - Mom v. Dad for custody, in most states - Mom gets custody - why do you think there are so many Mom headed single parent households - it's absurd to think that if a father asks for custody in contested case he's going to get it. In my case the judge had such a hard time jsutifing his decission, infact he used almost meaningless items.
Do some solid research and you will find that this post '75%...' article is not only biased it is an outright lie. The stats,and many of them paint a very different picture.
RE: PAS, despite whether this has been deemed an 'offical syndrome' or not we all know this happens. One parent disparages another and does so to convince the child that the other parent is no good. This is incredibally harful behavior and is in and of itself a form of abuse. Using the innocense of a child to ruin an important relationship in that child's life. It exists - be rational - and it is destructive.
Re: NY Helps Protective Parents |
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Elizabeth from New York, NY
Nov 9th 2008 at 10:44 pm EST (Updated Nov 9th 2008 at 10:44 pm EST)
Marie- I hear you.
Why would a father decide to ask for custody- if he is a reasonable person and recognizes that a child can do well with 2 involved but sane parents ??????? Can no state in U.S. provide mediation ? Reasonable parents who care for their children- will choose this option. It is abusers who sue for sole custody - -as shown repeatedly in court and police stats- compiled all over N.America.
Re: NY Helps Protective Parents |
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Anonymum from Beverly Hills, CA
Nov 14th 2008 at 12:07 am EST (Updated Nov 14th 2008 at 12:07 am EST)
Good point. Why does he want to control her? How does that impact on the relationship with her children?
What about the maternal child bond?
Why does he want to severe it?
The encyclopedia of men and masculinities has a good page on maternal envy. Not all men experience it but there is some real dysfunction going on and this is even prevalent on the comments that are present here.
Junk Science |
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Peter from Weston, MA
Nov 9th 2008 at 11:28 am EST (Updated Nov 9th 2008 at 11:28 am EST)
This 75% figure is junk science. It is not based upon fact.
Kids benefit from both parents and mothers 85-90% of the time get custody and now more than ever, kids are raised without dads due to lies like this post.
Re: Junk Science |
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Anonymum from Beverly Hills, CA
Nov 13th 2008 at 11:58 pm EST (Updated Nov 13th 2008 at 11:58 pm EST)
This is clearly a complete misrepresentation of facts.
Old Lies - Same Feminazis |
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Paul from Gaffney, SC
Nov 9th 2008 at 4:09 pm EST (Updated Nov 9th 2008 at 4:09 pm EST)
There isn't much about this message that's true.
The MASS study on gender bias in court never said 94% of fathers get shared or joint custody. That study was a put-up job intended to reinforce the feminazi agenda. The panel was made up of feminazis and a few court sympathizer men. Only one man spoke for fathers, out of ten speakers (average) in each of only three public hearings. The film, "Breaking the Silence" starred a cast of women from a feminist shelter. It was soundly debunked IN IT'S ENTIRETY by no less than the ombudsman from PBS, and pulled from their broadcast list. In fact, the main character, who had alienated her children from their father, and brainwashed them into saying horrible things about him, was herself CONVICTED of child abuse three separate times. Two of the children interviewed forgot their script, and admitted that dad had never done anything violent. Still these venomously vindictive feminazis keep dredging up the same old lies about abusive fathers getting custody. It defies logic. When women get custody in 90 (+) % of cases, how can fathers be getting custody in 75 -80%? Fathers who DON'T abuse can't get custody, let alone those that do. Don't count joint custody, if mother has residence, joint custody is meaningless to the fathers. No kids, no rights, no chance. The truth is, abusive MOTHERS are more often given custody than the best of fathers.
Meiers Faulty Reasoning |
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Paul from Gaffney, SC
Nov 9th 2008 at 5:06 pm EST (Updated Nov 9th 2008 at 5:06 pm EST)
When the text of Meiers film, Breaking the Silence, was investigated by PBS, they found little credibility to her statements. In brief, you can expect her to lie her donkey off. She's doing so here. What sane person, liberal or conservative would believe that only 7% of mothers get custody? That's patently ridiculous.
Meier quotes from lots of studies to support her outrageous claims. MOST, if not all, those studies were typical engineering jobs perpetrated on society by feminist groups like the womens law group, or the Wellesly studies. Feminist groups conduct research to produce a pre-determined result. Their methods and conclusions are not upheld by legitimate sources. My favorite study was the one done by PBS, in the wake of the "Breaking the Silence" debacle. That study found that MZ.Meier was a liar. She is also a fanatical misandrist.
false allegations and the divorce industry |
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Stuart from Brooklyn, NY
Nov 9th 2008 at 8:47 pm EST (Updated Nov 9th 2008 at 8:47 pm EST)
Dear Americans,
I am a practicing public defender and "domestic violence" lawyer in NY.
Be aware that VAWA, NOW and those who feed off of the 1.6 billion dollars allocated by VAWA seek to insure the growth of the divorce/anti-family/pro single parent home and are no doubt behind the crap that was posted here.
It is sad that children are now, based solely on accusation, ripped away from one parent in favor of the other. The "abuser" referred to as obtaining custody is not and now routinely removed from the household based on allegation. Allegations of abuse are done for tactical considerations (child support, property seizure, de facto custody, vindictiveness and more). Believe it, it is true!
The only way our American family structure and basic morality can be reinstituted into our Court system is by Congress passing national shared parenting legislation for fit parents. Each parent being recognized as fit to parent their own children equally and in accordance with work schedules. Also, mandatory mediation and a cap on legal fees will also enhance the survival of a child's right to have two parents in their lives.
The fool who wrote the crap posted has no real life experience in the Court system nor the incentive to support shared parenting. After-all, enforcing the true best interests of children ie. passing shared parenting legislation would nullify the need for the many workers in the only American business experiencing record growth in our declining nation, the divorce industry!
Support: www. equalparentingparty. com
Re: false allegations and the divorce industry |
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Bob from Alpine, CA
Nov 10th 2008 at 12:47 am EST (Updated Nov 10th 2008 at 12:47 am EST)
VP Biden Undo VAWA
It's ironic that the majority of the comments on this blog favors how VAWA has hurt families. The original sponsor of that Bill was Mr. Biden. I would hope that he is reading this and would take corrective action soon.
No time should be wasted in fixing this travesty of american justice. It undermines the fabric of our society and threatens the future well being of our children. I recall during the campaign it was stated that the failure of our public education system was a threat to our national security. It really scares the you know what out of me to think that psychologically damaged kids (50% of families remember) , who do not or cannot get an adequate education, will compete with the rest of the world. Call it speculative but, we are laying a poor foundation for our nations youth if we don't take preventative measures now.
Mr. Biden, look into the rearview mirror and revisit what VAWA is doing to our children.
Re: false allegations and the divorce industry |
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Anonymum from Beverly Hills, CA
Nov 10th 2008 at 1:07 am EST (Updated Nov 10th 2008 at 1:07 am EST)
Clearly this man is not a lawyer.
Re: false allegations and the divorce industry |
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Indianashame Teardropsforkatelynn
Nov 10th 2008 at 2:57 pm EST (Updated Nov 10th 2008 at 2:57 pm EST)
How sad you are a public defender and domestic violence and you say these things! You of all people should not be prejudism one way or the other. The poor people you represent. God help them since it is clear from your comment you have already decide their case before you even know the individual defendents case.
I hope other public defenders are just that defend the public without their personal prejudism. Everyone deserves fair and unbiased representation without preconcieved personel idealogies robbing them of one of the things that makes America great the right to fairness!
Note the tactics to Silence Victims... |
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Anonymum from Beverly Hills, CA
Nov 10th 2008 at 1:03 am EST (Updated Nov 10th 2008 at 1:03 am EST)
Domestic violence services through the years have been attacked by batterers, but since the emergence of anger -management groups, fathers "rights" groups have continued to attack women's services online with their campaigns to silence victims.
Here are just some of the examples of the tactics they use to try and degrade and humiliate women in their process to seeking safety. Of course no perpetrator is going to admit their violence towards women and nor do they seek to be discovered.
So desperately scrambling together using reasons that have little rational to their plights, in an attempt to justify, legalize and silence those whom have experience their personal wrath, they expose themselves in their mass spreading of propaganda.
Its in fact obvious in their aggression that these are not advocates for fathers - These are a bunch of internet bullies who have just revealed their game.
I agree the batter gets custody |
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joemaflage
Nov 10th 2008 at 7:01 pm EST (Updated Nov 10th 2008 at 7:01 pm EST)
I would have to agree with your stance that in at least 2/3 of the cases the abuser gets custody. I would break it down a bit different. 85% of custody cases are sole custody to the mother awards. That would leave 10% to make up the women who get custody who are not abusers. When sole custody is awarded between fit willing and able parents the outcome is ABUSE and the system promotes making one parent the abuser in custody orders.
Domestic violence happens equally with a man or woman being the abuser so the only way to get your 75% is to look at the custody orders and realize there are a few very few cases were a single parent should be the outcome the rest are just another form of abuse.
Link
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Anonymum from Beverly Hills, CA
Nov 13th 2008 at 11:46 pm EST (Updated Nov 13th 2008 at 11:46 pm EST)
Again, domestic violence is against 95% female.
Children deserve BOTH fit, willing, able parents!! |
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Phillip from Hastings, MI
Nov 10th 2008 at 9:40 pm EST (Updated Nov 10th 2008 at 9:40 pm EST)
American Citizens:
Our family law court system routinely denies children suffering from a divorced home the love, care, and guidance of BOTH fit, willing, and able parents.
Here in Michigan, LESS than 10% of the contested custody cases have been found, by the MI State Bar's own admission, to be "high conflict" cases. So much for the lies stated earlier.
What most of you, and the majority of American media cannot and will not grasp, is that there is indeed an anti-father feminist agenda in this country.
Some REAL facts here. Women are equally as capable of inflicting domestic violence. Mothers are the ones MOST likely to kill and/or injure their child. The SAFEST place for a child to be is with the biological father. Many of the men guilty of abuse are live-in boyfriends or second husbands.
Annointing mothers automatically to be the ones to raise and nurture children, without any finding of unfitness of the father, is placing tens of thousands of children at risk. Over 85% of Michigan's children from divorced homes are denied either any meaningful time or any time at all with their father.
The feminists can only twist the facts. They will not tell you the truth. True loving and caring fathers are the ones who fight for their children!!
Equal Parenting legislation is always met with cries of "in the best interests of the child". The truth here-Michigan alone will reap at least 200 MILLION dollars in 2008 from finding one parent a non-custodial, from Social Security Title IV-D grants and incentive funds. The total nationally-$4.2 BILLION, plus bonuses. DECREASING the time a child spends with a non-custodial INCREASES the money flowing into the system!!
Ask your dear politicians whose best interests they are looking out for-it's not our childrens'!!! Most of them are attorneys-they want the status quo to stay-so they can return to the same-increase the conflict between divorcing parents-increase the retainers paid to the attorneys-increase the funding to the courts and the rest of the system.
Who profits from a divorce-attorneys, custody evaluators, judges, social workers, psychologists, and a host of others. Who pays the price-OUR CHILDREN!
America-wake up, and see what is happening!
Phillip Wurm
Michigan
Vice-President
A Childs Right, www.achildsright.org
Re: Children deserve BOTH fit, willing, able parents!! |
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Anonymum from Beverly Hills, CA
Nov 10th 2008 at 10:01 pm EST (Updated Nov 10th 2008 at 10:01 pm EST)
Phillip, That is a load of rubbish if I have ever heard of it.
Stop supporting violence and child abuse.
American citizens are not that gullible.
It has been acknowledged as a human right because it is prevalent in the world data bank.
You cannot distort that.
What you are doing to women and children is WRONG.
Re: Children deserve BOTH fit, willing, able parents!! |
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617SADDADS
Nov 10th 2008 at 10:50 pm EST (Updated Nov 10th 2008 at 10:50 pm EST)
Anomaly from Beverly Hills,
you obviously have been hurt and need help, but emotions whether real or in your mind make believe is fact.
Give us one fact, just one that you can support. All your responses are nonsense and hateful.
Please get some help
Re: Children deserve BOTH fit, willing, able parents!! |
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Phillip from Hastings, MI
Nov 11th 2008 at 8:48 pm EST (Updated Nov 11th 2008 at 8:48 pm EST)
Dear "Beverly Hills":
"A load of rubbish"?
Hardly. I speak the truth. I went through Michigan's family law court system five years ago. I saw my ex-wife, who is emotionally unstable, suffers from depression, she who admitted in court to being held in a psych. ward, on three seperate occassions, and is both physically and emotionally damaging to myself and our two daughters be annointed "the best" parent to raise our two girls.
I have not only been working hard to repair the damage inflicted upon my own children by this ignorant, biased and money-grubbing system, I have seen the damage and devastation inflicted on HUNDREDS of other kids.
I have been in the trenches of Michigan's Equal Parenting Movement for over four years now, and I know the facts, and THE TRUTH of what has happened, still is, and will continue happening until the system as we all know it is stopped and changed.
"A load of rubbish", you say?
You don't have clue one as to the truth and the facts. I suggest you attempt to enlighten and educate yourself, "Beverly Hills".
Phillip Wurm
Vice President
A Childs Right, www.achildsright.org
Re: Children deserve BOTH fit, willing, able parents!! |
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Anonymum from Beverly Hills, CA
Nov 13th 2008 at 11:25 pm EST (Updated Nov 13th 2008 at 11:25 pm EST)
Note the comment comes from "Sad dads"
Stating the facts and not spreading propaganda is not hateful. What is truly hateful and sadistic is attacking battered mothers and trying to state that perpetrators are victims - Thats "hate" and cruelty at its worse.
Re: Children deserve BOTH fit, willing, able parents!! |
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Anonymum from Beverly Hills, CA
Nov 14th 2008 at 12:15 am EST (Updated Nov 14th 2008 at 12:15 am EST)
" I saw my ex-wife, who is emotionally unstable, suffers from depression, she who admitted in court to being held in a psych. ward, on three seperate occassions, and is both physically and emotionally damaging to myself and our two daughters be annointed "the best" parent to raise our two girls."
Stating that she is crazy is a common theme that perpetrators do to silence the abused.
Note the emphasis and association of children with money. There is a clear assumption that women and children are property.
Thank you for making it clear why you wrote here - To continue to silence her and her children.
Re: Children deserve BOTH fit, willing, able parents!! |
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Darrick from Kalamazoo, MI
Nov 11th 2008 at 11:50 am EST (Updated Nov 11th 2008 at 11:50 am EST)
I implore you to actively support both presumed parental rights for all parents and equal parenting rights for all fit and willing parents. No child or parent should be battered and when there is clear and convinving evidence of such courts should consider it when determining fitness otherwise allegations should be left out of custody decision which will protect both parents' and their children's rights. In our society and every properly functioning society that has ever existed there was an inherent respect and deference to the family. Children are a part of the family and they have the right to the love of both of their parents and their extended family. Allowing the state without due process of law through the courts and government child welfare bureaucracies to interrupt the child-parent relationship has destroyed many childhoods and caused untold damage to our society. Parents have the right to decide how their children are educated and medicated as long as there is no clear evidence that these choices will seriously harm their children. Allowing parents to raise children with their values and beliefs ensures a level of diversity that makes our society strong. Demonstrating to children that the family is important by making sure that both of their parents and their entire family are respected will give children the courage to have a family of their own. This demonstrated respect and deference will show that both parents are expected to be a part of a family.In an intact family children benefit from the love and care of two parents involved significantly in their life. The state and divorce/custody industry operators create opposing parents that clash costing large sums of money and destroys the child-parent relationship in the supermajority of cases. The state is allowed through the supposed best interest of the child criteria to pressure most fathers to relinquish custody to the mother or are denied custody in court because they want to create winners and losers instead of promoting joint custody. The standard visitation schedule averages out to 4-6 days a month based on age of the child and will never be changed unless the parents agree or there is clear and convincing evidence of problems in the custodial home. Presumed Equal Parenting legislation and Fundamental State Constitutional Amendments will help ensure that children will have the stability and love of both of their fit, willing and able parents.
Re: Children deserve BOTH fit, willing, able parents!! |
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Darrick from Kalamazoo, MI
Nov 11th 2008 at 12:14 pm EST (Updated Nov 11th 2008 at 12:14 pm EST)
Phil is not supporting abuse by supporting due process rights for both parents. In fact Phil supports equal parental rights for both parents unless their is clear and convincing evidence otherwise. What would you have, when any mother alleges violence the father is automatically removed from his children's lives?
Re: Children deserve BOTH fit, willing, able parents!! |
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Anonymum from Beverly Hills, CA
Nov 13th 2008 at 11:28 pm EST (Updated Nov 13th 2008 at 11:28 pm EST)
This is scaremongering. As if he is trying to say that "false allegations" actually work? What a joke.
Bottom line is :
Stop hurting mothers and children.
Meier is full of very unreal citations - but why - what is her agenda? |
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Mike from Sault Sainte Marie, MI
Nov 11th 2008 at 4:03 pm EST (Updated Nov 11th 2008 at 4:03 pm EST)
Meier has an ideology based presumably on her own negative experiences with men (is she a lesbian?) and she has been debunked time and again. She still is able to hold a Profs. job at GWU and brain wash repeated cohorts of new law students with this tripe.
Why reasonable people even listen to her is symptomatic of the gender wars. It suits the purpose of those whose agenda it is to slime men.
Her comments that only batterers take custody to trial is complete BS. It is like the description provided that a charming man is as likely to be an abuser as is the socially awkward man.
Fact - females kill and maim their children far more than men.
Fact - The initiation of DV is as likely to occur by a female than a man
Fact - Over 90% of custody in disputed and undisputed divorce cases goes to the mother
Fact - Lesbians have a higher rate of DV than heterosexuals (last I heard Lesbians were female)
Enough of wasting my time on this persons misandry.
Re: Meier is full of very unreal citations - but why - what is her agenda? |
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Indianashame Teardropsforkatelynn
Nov 11th 2008 at 4:58 pm EST (Updated Nov 11th 2008 at 4:58 pm EST)
You know what all talk is the parents rights when do you start ever caring about the child's right's does even matter? Always about your rights that is the constant theme and bottom of all you espouse but see that is the problem with all of it. It is and has always about your rights. That political agenda seems a little narcissitc and self invovled and that is my concern with it!
Re: Meier is full of very unreal citations - but why - what is her agenda? |
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Anonymum from Beverly Hills, CA
Nov 14th 2008 at 12:24 am EST (Updated Nov 14th 2008 at 12:24 am EST)
Fact - 95% of batterers are Male
Fact - 98% of child sexual abuse is by a male.
Fact - Women are human beings, not property
Fact - Children are human beings, not property
Fact- The truth will always shine through
Fact - Before women's rights, women and children were treated appallingly.
Fact - Most men who degrade and humiliate women are very insecure.
Fact - Most violence against males are by other males.
Fact -A majority of homicides are by men.
Batterers & Custody |
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Mama Liberty
Nov 12th 2008 at 4:31 pm EST (Updated Nov 12th 2008 at 4:31 pm EST)
Under the list of things your batterer will say to you if you leave him or try to, #2 is "I'll tell the judge you're a bad mother; you'll lose custody of the kids." I used to think that was a threat.....5 months later I learned otherwise, and I'm not alone. There are literally thousands of mothers losing custody to their ex-abusers. NOT the "good" fathers who share EQUALLY parenting costs or cares. It's the dad's that want the mother out of their child's life to "pay her back" for leaving him. It's the abusive drunk ones who drink and drive with their kids, threaten their kids they will take away toys or pets. It's the fathers who do not want the financial obligation of raising a child by way of child support. OH....and the #1 on the list of things your batterer will say to you is "If I can't have you, NO ONE WILL". Thankfully, I believed that one.
Re: Batterers & Custody |
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Teri from Concord, CA
Nov 13th 2008 at 5:00 pm EST (Updated Nov 13th 2008 at 5:00 pm EST)
Here it is again. Gender-bias.
"Under the list of things your batterer will say to you if you leave him or try to"
Get over yourselves! You aren't the only victims. Men are not the only perpetrators.
Re: Batterers & Custody |
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Indianashame Teardropsforkatelynn
Nov 13th 2008 at 6:28 pm EST (Updated Nov 13th 2008 at 6:28 pm EST)
That is your opinion. State concrete scientific fact and I don't mean just conjectured based on a personal opinion. See with scientific fact, it is concrete, provable . I yet to see any documentation (I mean accredited and scientific) other than you stating statistics ( which is not a fact) that is in your comment.
Re: Batterers & Custody |
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Indianashame Teardropsforkatelynn
Nov 13th 2008 at 6:34 pm EST (Updated Nov 13th 2008 at 6:34 pm EST)
also I am not interested in a gender war which seems to be what you keep coming back to. This appears as a magician slight of hand this gender war thing you keep espousing on and if this is your political agenda that is fine and well however this blog is about child abuse and I don't care how many times the subject is changed that is all it's about. But good luck with gender war, getting started, trying to pick a gender war fight or whatever the point is about you trying to make about gender. And Vanna back to the letter "c" for childern being abused and their rights!
Thanks |
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Nelly from Clifton Heights, PA
Nov 17th 2008 at 5:54 pm EST (Updated Nov 17th 2008 at 5:54 pm EST)
It's America's dirty little secret that batterers get custody.
It's been documented - ABA, Leadership Council, Stop Family Violence, XY Online, etc...
There is now a battered mother's conference.
The men opposing DV services for women and FC are often batterers. IN fact, they are often called "Abusers lobby" and PAS is called the "abuse excuse."
PAS has been discredited. Do some parents poison the minds of kids intentionally or inadvertently? Sure. Is it a syndrome? NO. It's biggest problem is it doestn take OTHER OPTIONS into consideration, oh, say, child abuse. So a child abuser says its really PAS and the judge believes him.
Reiterating "false allegations" and PAS (based on the premise the mother is lying about abuse) is the current witch hunt -- there are no batterers folks, women are simply vindictive liars.
It's a misogynist campaign fueled by cherry-picked data, bad studies, half-truths and falsehoods.
Thanks to all that expose them.
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