Organizing for America | KobashObama: The Maverick Needs His Wingman. Who Will It Be?

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The Maverick Needs His Wingman. Who Will It Be?

By bkobash - Feb 13th, 2008 at 11:44 pm EST

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Tags: McCain, Reagan, SarahPalin, veep, VicePresident

So, Sen. John McCain is the presumptive GOP nominee. Considering that tomorrow's Valentine's Day and all, we need to find the guy his winning match. A great vice-presidential candidate will really help "round out" the ticket and assuage his many detractors, come convention time. A Simon for his Garfunkel. A Sonny for his Cher. Below are some of the contenders that everyone's buzzing about.

Condoleezza Rice

The current Secretary of State and former National Security Advisor has been suggested by certain grassroots groups. Her recent Annapolis peace conference attempted to broker a peace between Israel and the Palestinians, receiving unusual compliments from liberal voices like Eleanor Clift.

Pros:

Shared infatuation with President Bush.
Garners unyielding support of conservative female African-American community.
Saying "McCain n' Condi" is irresistably catchy. It would be the most lyrical candidate pairing since "Tippecanoe and Tyler Too".
Concert piano skills would complement McCain's majestic singing voice.

Cons:

The ticket would be perhaps just a little bit too neo-cony for most people's tastes. Just a little.

Sarah Palin

The current Republican governor of Alaska. Pundits such as Fred Barnes have noted her viability as the vice-president, and there's a "Draft Sarah Palin" initiative online.

Pros:

At 44, Palin's the youngest-ever governor of Alaska. For McCain, this brings a 27 year age difference to offset the potential youth factor Obama brings. Still, most pundits can't leave it at that, and have to factor in her remarkable hottieness.
Can broker relationships between Russia and Canada. The maple syrup exchange has been particularly fruitful.
Enjoys hunting. Will likely not shoot hunting partners in the face.

Cons:

Domestic/foreign policy experience currently limited to one or two cities.
Overshadowed by other Alaskan politician Ted Stevens, who in turn is overshadowed by catchphrases like "bridge to nowhere" and "series of tubes".

Ron Paul

Over the last year, the libertarian Representative and Presidential candidate from Texas has taken the Internet by storm. And you just know that he's a totally avid user of computers and other adding/processing machines.

Pros:

Rabid, energized fanbase. Very energized. Very rabid.

Cons:

Ron Paul on John McCain, 2/11/2008: "I can not support anybody with the foreign policy he advocates, you know, perpetual war. That is just so disturbing to me. I think it's un-American, un-Constitutional, immoral, and not Republican." Okay, maybe not a good match.

Joe Lieberman

Senator from Connecticut and member of the nascent "Lieberman for Lieberman" Party. Good friends with McCain. Along with McCain, a member of the original bipartisan "Gang of 14".

Pros:

Has significant prior experience as an unsuccessful vice-presidential candidate.
Quivery voice and unsteady rhetoric makes McCain seem almost Obamaian in comparison.
Rumored to have significant amounts of Joe-mentum.

Cons:

Blond hair makes him seem too youthful. Like, Chris Matthews youthful.

George Allen

Former Virginia Senator, once considered a strong contender for the Republican Presidential nomination until he casually referred to an Indian-American by an otherwise little-known racial slur at some campaign stop.

Pros:

Extremely unlikely to have a "macaca moment", considering he's already had one.

Cons:

Won't return phone calls.
Still statistically possible to have another "macaca moment".

Audio-Animatronic Ronald Reagan

Famous for his appearances in Walt Disney World's Hall of Presidents, Audio-Animatronic Ronald Reagan is a motor-powered facsimile of the 40th US President.

Pros:

Has a certain Reagan-esque quality about him.
Never strays "off message".
Will wave at and/or acknowledge you when his name is spoken.

Cons:

Non-rechargeable.

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