Since Election night when Obama became President-elect, there has been an atmosphere on this blog that has nearly put me in a position to decide between staying here, or leaving and going elsewhere. I have struggled with this for many days. I had hoped that it was a temporary condition and all I had to do is be patient, or join the blogging at a different time of the day. It has become obvious to me, time, makes no difference.
Here are the issues that I have such concern about.
1. It is obvious to me, and I am sure the majority of us ObamaCANS that we are being invaded by trolls. This is a fact based on my own observations throughout the previous days and nights.
2. These trolls are unlike the periodic ones who use to interfere prior to the election. They are way more disrespectful, and are being blatantly rude and abusive, hiding behind what they call “their opinion” by calling people names and using swear words, etc.
3. This is the most bothersome part for me, all us diehard O-bloggers are engaging them when they show up. I don’t understand why anyone would want to engage to provoke the trolls to stick around and use up our valuable space on the blog, especially since we only get 1 or 2 forums a day to blog on, and it has been difficult for some of us to post or read because the whole blog site is running too slow.
4. The negativity the trolls bring to this blog, increases exponentially as anyone chooses to engage them.
5. I have even noticed much tension between our own O-bloggers; something I had not noticed b/f election. I am not sure if this is a result of the negativity being left behind from the trolls or there are other factors I am not aware of. This is only a hypothesis.
6. We, the O-bloggers, had in the past, set up a set of “rules of engagement” when trolls posted but those “rules” according to my own observations have not been followed by many here.
7. I have also noticed that as the engagement between O-bloggers and trolls increased, our other world-wide O-bloggers have quietly disappeared or came to the blog only to post how negative our blog has become.
8. An example of what I have listed occurred sometime late last week when several trolls hijacked our blog and as time progressed, nearly all O-bloggers, disappeared, but a couple kept engaging them and the trolls became more and more abusive. I even posted my one and only troll response about “bless the ignorant, that they may see themselves as others do, …” I use this post only to shake them up and hopefully they “get it” but I was abused for that and that had never happened b/f. So I posted one last time, not on a troll post but generally, I asked all our ObabaCANS to meet me at our “secret site.” I hope that is self-explanitory, don’t want trolls to know about it. I do believe most did get it, because not too long after, only a couple of O-bloggers were left on the site.
9. Today, I signed on, once again with hope that I could visit with my O-friends and have some positiveness in my day, only to find once again, trolls, trolls that were being engaged so the trolls kept trolling and engaging. I am at a loss. I so want to come here for so many reasons, but especially for positive support and communication.
10. Since I am not just an observer, but also I am a solution oriented person, I will state my observations and recommend an action plan that anyone is welcome to accept or change or whatever. So it is time for me to give all of our O-bloggers my recommendations to return our blog back to its original mission.
(i) re-institute the “rule” of “shock and awe” not really, “ignore, report, no engagement, PERIOD!”
(ii) O-bloggers need to be responsible to investigate suspicious posters by checking profiles and reporting back to O-bloggers if a post is likely to be a troll.
(iii) Some have started the donate in honor of troll visits, which is a very creative idea. However, I believe that the other night, it would have drained many of our bank accounts. I would still recommend that those who want to, please do it and post that you have right on the trolls post. THEN no matter what, DO NOT ENGAGE, no matter what.
Rational for these specific set of rules:
Consider these two documented behaviors from bullies, and two-year-olds:
Bullies- have issues with their own self image, they may have been or are being bullied by their own parents, or they may just be born to be a bully. (I actually know one) what a bully is attempting to get from the one they are bulling is engagement of any sort, verbal or physical. They want to have and be in control- this creates a false positive self-image and the more they get the desired response the more they seek it out of their victims.
Two-year-olds – at this developmental stage, they throw temper-tantrums. Now each child will hit this stage early or late or somewhere in-between, but it is inevitable and it is how these tantrums are dealt with, that will set up future behaviors through-out their remaining parenting years. I realize this only applies to anyone who is a parent, or use to be parenting children. But it is a pretty easy concept to understand.
Two-year-olds are also trying to get any response from a parent, and if they get any response, negative or positive, their temper-tantrum behavior will continue, and continue, and … you get the idea. The very best way to extinguish this particular behavior is by IGNORING it completely. Now, I know it is way harder than that, so you say, but, if you can learn to walk away, or very, very calmly walk, carry, or drag the child to another room and close the door, it is amazing how fast they get over it, because you did NOT ENGAGE, so they realize that behavior will not work.
Recently for me this was a very big issue with my grandson. It didn’t last very long because of the way it was handled from very beginning I won’t go into the whole story, except to tell you that there were two incidents, where there was not a “room” so he was put into time out in his car seat while he was already sitting in it, just by telling him he was in time out, and in a target store he was put on the floor right by the cart. Somehow me and my daughter made him think that just the word “time-out” was sufficient for him to “believe he was” ;)
Now apply these particular set of behaviors from both bullies and tantrums and find similarities. Both are seeking control through a specific mode of behavior whether it is verbally, or physically abusing a victim or by screaming so loud and for so long that it pushes a parent’s ability to deal with it. In both situations, they are seeking response because that gives them “perceived” control. Now, you can’t put bullies in time out, but you should not respond, or engage, you can just walk or run away without a single word. This disrupts the bully’s psyche, but the behavior will probably continue for some time, in an attempt to regain control but if you NEVER respond or engage, eventually they will stop.
As for temper tantrums, it is pretty much the same except the two-year-olds in general are not being verbally or physically abusive, at least not on purpose. But the way to deal with tantrums is the same, IGNORE, walk away, do not respond, or if it is necessary remove them, without any words or anger, and walk away.
Trolls-are verbally and virtually abusive bullies who are throwing temper-tantrums and are seeking “control” and have a complete repertoire of tools to rake havoc upon each one of us. The only way to reduce or extinguish their negative behaviors are to IGNORE, walk away, put them in another “room”—REPORT – and under no circumstances ENGAGE.
Remember, this is a behavior that will continue for some time, however, if they are NEVER allowed to gain any measure of engagement (control), their need for it will not be met, and they will eventually disappear, one way or another; either they choose to, or because we have put them in a “room” of report to admin.
I know this was a long, long post, but I believe it really needed to be addressed, so that our O-bloggers who only visit occasionally do not arrive, only to see 50% of the posts are interactions and engagements with trolls. This behavior will and probably already has scared those O-bloggers off and left a negative impression on them about ObamaCANS, which is the worst thing that could happen, especially if many of the visitors are those who may be trying to connect with us since the election.
We are the example. . . . we are an extension of the man we elected, he in no way would act this way. . . so this is my plea to everyone ----------------
Check first if there’s a suspicion that a post is from a troll by checking their profile, if they are, do NOT ENGAGE, post RID, and report them, and if you so desire, add the donate thing.
Myself, and anyone who wants to join, will post once and only once, my positive mantra to the troll, even though there may be a verbal attack against me, that will be it, NO RESPONSE, NO ENGAGEMENT will come from me. Posting just that one and only positive thing, leaves people who visit with the impression we take the high road, and who knows, a troll may not know what to say or do and they leave, it has actually happened a few times.
Ok. . . . I have said it. I really welcome any response to this very long and even more long . . . post because I really, really, want to keep returning here, because I have grown to love people here. I have loved our communicating, support, and humor, I don’t want to give that up, but if all that disappears amongst the negativity, I will not allow negativity to be inundated into my life.
Peace, lots and lots of Peace
PS: Any Troll reading this, well, you’ve now been informed, any ignorance on your part, well, is your problem but I will end by saying to you . . .
Bless the ignorant; that one day they may see themselves as others see them; another human sharing this planet, which supports all of our lives the same; through the air we breathe, the food we eat, and the ground we walk on.
Bless the ignorant
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