I've been very impressed by the speechwriting skills of Senator Obama's young team led by Jon Favreau. But lately I've noticed that the rhetoric is growing a bit stale.Before it was too abstract, and even though it's now far more specific, the language isn't strong enough to convey the urgency and importance of the words. Barack seems tired, worn out, passive. His style of speaking is starting to convey this feeling that he's a total patsy among those who aren't supporting him.
At some point, Barack needs to get angry. Not faux-half hearted anger. I mean in-your-face I'm-gonna-beat-the-crap-out-of-the-status-quo anger. Not ironic, not terse, not clever, not chuckling. I'm talking real anger. I know that as a black man, Barack seems to think being angry won't go over well. While that may have been true at one point, I think as soon as the race is wrapped up Barack needs to pivot HARD into a confrontational tone. He needs to roll up his sleeves--like he's been doing in Indiana--and go hard populist in a biting way.
Mr. Favreau, in turn, needs to start writing gritty. Don't talk about gas prices--talk about the wrenching ache of watching that dollar readout on the gas pump go up and up and up while your wallet gets lighter and lighter. Place Barack directly in people's shoes and have him describe how losing your job makes a person feels like crap, how it can rip apart a man's families.
Barack needs to start PROJECTING. Don't tell us about the guy who can't afford to drive to job interviews. Put Barack directly in that man's shoes, talk about how he feels, tell a story about he sees the gas station sign, decides "screw it", and blows his remaining cash drinking away his misery in a bar with his friends, all of whom are tight-lipped, not really talking about it, but quietly understanding that the world around them is falling apart. Describe the hopelessness that sets in. Describe the powerlessness people feel. Make them know that Barack understands how far they've fallen, but he doesn't judge them as victims but rather heroes-in-waiting. He believes their future CAN be in their hands. He can enlist them. He can reempower them in a way they have never been empowered before. He can tell them that the fight against organized money is not hopeless, for the power of organized people can overcome.
If Barack is going to be a working class hero, he needs to show that he knows--intimately--who he's fighting for. He knows their hopes. He knows their fears. He can allay their reservations and help them to see their own power.
If Mr. Favreau can start writing speeches like that, it'll go a long way towards helping Barack win the working-class.
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