Copied and Pasted from my other blog at http://www.spreadingourwings.blogspot.com
I've received emails regarding some of my recent blog postings - some of which contain very kind words - and some no...I respect all opinions, enjoy having my ego stroked here and there - and also, where appropriate, I believe - sometimes respond with the assertive (after a couple of deep breaths) anger that is provoked...I'd like to thank the folks that have affirmed my "work" (volunteer activism that actually costs me money...) here.I'd also like to address some of the "whacks up aside the head" (reminiscent of a book title) I have received...I've been told, by a guy who has been known to send us classist and racist emails (in my opinion) - that I shouldn't send political propaganda (i.e., a note about the Bush Truth commission) to members of a certain local commission that allegedly stands for freedom of speech [classism and racism are "okay" but political information (which one can delete with a click) is "not?"]I've been told (I've heard this before) - that we need to "focus on our own back yard" (exclusively) - that the people (all of us nobodies?) have no impact [I disagree with this] on national decisions and/or events.I've been told (I've heard this before too) - that I need to do something about my anger...Which is, my dear friends and "frenimies" (a word borrowed from my step-daughter) exactly what I am doing...Yes, I could sit and mope and simmer - and I do my share of that.Yes, I could give up on life altogether - plenty of folks do.Yes, I could be a sweet quiet "good little girl" of "sugar and spice" - keep my "mouth shut" - and continue - sans any form of resistance - to eat bucket-loads of classist and sexist shi*...But THAT is not who I am - nor whom I choose to be...NOT ANYMORE!I do a lot of thinking, perhaps too much sometimes, I will grant you that.But here and now I WILL tell you "some" of the reasons for my anger - which I am really (as I believe a therapist would tell you) currently handling in a much healthier and productive manner than I have in the past:1. I grew up in a home where if a woman dared to express an opinion she got her head wailed into the wall, fireplace mantle, etc.2. I grew up in a home where girls and women were viewed exclusively as "sex objects" (to be used and exploited) and "servants" (shut up and obey...)3. I grew up in a home where battering, child neglect and child abuse were the norm, rather than the exception...4. I grew up in a town that made us suffer all the more... having been branded a "lowlife" and "blacksheep" by function of my birth.5. Due to lack of attention, education, health services, etc. - I did what a lot of young girls in my situation (extreme rural poverty) do - as in --- I hooked up with an older guy (or he with me...) and started down the road of teen pregnancy after teen pregnancy; alcoholism (on both our parts); and, if I hadn't left, a more than likely addition (with me being the number one target this time) future of domestic violence....6. I drank heavily for about 10 years - blaming myself for all of the things that happened in my childhood / my life... whilst (still a child in many ways myself) I tried to protect my own children (in some instances, failing) from the legacy I had inherited...7. Only to find that predators come in many forms; most pretending, initially, to be one's "savior" and/or friend...8. At around the age of 20 my half-sister, born much later than me, died of starvation and exposure... in the midst of a series of events that never should have been. STARVATION. The word kind of grabs you doesn't it????? She was 5-6 months old...9. As a woman that suffered, already, from an attempt to self-medicate my pain and from (I would find this out later...) Post Traumatic Stress Disorder - I spent a lot of years drinking (which is a vice, but not a crime) - and I found myself the victim of crimes - of people that INTENDED to commit crimes - over and over and over again...Obscene phone calls, landlords that sexually harassed me, co-workers that sexually harassed me, date rapes, etc... all of which were topped off by a serious violent rape... where I was held hostage - assaulted - had my life threatened with a knife - and was lucky - oh yes - quite lucky indeed - to make it out alive.10. Only to find out (along the course of life unfolding, including during my "recovery" process) that a number of child sexual predators (despite my having moved in an attempt to get away from such folks) had managed to access a number of my children (including one or more of my step-children), and a number of my children's friends (many of them right here in good old Kingston...) - as well.11. Now, did I sit still for this? Let go of my anger? NO. But what I often found was a system that further traumatizes and exploits the victims of crimes - INCLUDING child victims! In fact, in one case a KPD officer, despite ample evidence, refused to take a case entirely (this officer was later "let go" due to using racist language) --- and in another case, after borrowing and paying top dollar ($7,500 down the drain...) to get what I thought was good representation for a grandchild that had been abused --- the "good" lawyer didn't even book us into the right court!(we should have been in criminal court not in family court!) OR show up (he sent an assistant instead) to represent us!12. I have worked... Almost 10 years at one place that chose to "let me go" just two weeks prior to when (You think this was coincidence?) I would have been able to collect a pension...13. I have gone through college - with panic attacks (often severe) doing their best to dissuade me along the way... feeling like a freak from another planet when comparing myself to my often well-to-do classmates... 14. I lost one post-degree job because I stood up for what was right in a situation where myself, other staff members and clients [MICA] were being abused... [I (simply attempting to do my job) was threatened with a knife at this residence... "I" was fired! They took the perp out for ice cream...]15. I lost another post-degree job (where I had previously received excellent reviews and a considerable promotion) because I challenged the CEO about not keeping employees within the boundaries that had been set by our government grant... [Better keep your mouth shut, eh?16. I have tried [and continue to try] to make a profit off my own business enterprises - only to find that the associated costs (insurance; bonds; other dues and fees; advertising; etc.) are extremely prohibitive...17. I can HONESTLY say that I have NEVER set out to exploit, bring harm to, or use another person.18. I can HONESTLY say that I HAVE BEEN EXPLOITED (the black marketing of my books representing the latest in this long saga of life) - repeatedly HARMED (emotionally and physically) - and USED - over and over and over again - by others that do NOT have legitimate good intent.19. I am aware of many members of my family that are traveling down the same road I have - because they were taught wrong... AND because they are (is this an illness in 2009?) KIND...20. And I am PRETTY DARN SICK OF IT!So, like it or not, this is what I do. This is what (between bouts of depression, hypervigilence and insomnia) I am capable OF doing!And it is certainly better - I would say - than doing NOTHING AT ALL. It has been said (something to this affect; not an exact quote) --- that "If you stand for anything, you will most likely find yourself standing alone."Which, for the most part, appears to be true.Yet, if we don't stand for anything... if everyone were to "let go of their anger" and simply "forgive and forget"... this world would be run entirely (it appears to have come quite close already!) by sociopaths.When I was in college I wrote a poem titled, "The Wonder of Wings."And I'm still trying (against the odds) to make this life of mine stand for something" - do "something" worth while - "learn how to fly" - before I (as we all will do, eventually...) kiss the world (which I'm not overly fond of, 'tis true) goodbye.BTW, I was put in a special class as a child... but I graduated from UCCC and SUNY at New Paltz with honors / summa cum laude...So it might appear as if folks had me labeled wrong (how many young lives are stunted in this manner) from the beginning.Ignorance is not stupidity.Ignorance (which one can break through!) is a crafted and well-designed CRIME.Peace, love, equality and humane justice,NS
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Update: As far as how the current socio-economic crisis is affecting me...
My depression and PTSD symptoms have been severe - the only reprieve (temporary bouts) being through my activism.
My husbands depression has been severe.
My marriage of 20+ years is "on the rocks."
We have put off needed health care, dental care and mental health care - because we can't afford it and/or the quality of what is offered is seriously lacking...
We have kept our heat on 62 - worn coats around the house all winter - got behind on credit card payments - lived on minimal groceries - and pawned family heirlooms in an attempt to keep our home / pay taxes / do some activism.
And - I could add plenty more... having 5 adult children, 10 grandchildren - siblings - loads of nieces and nephews - great-nieces and nephews - other family members - and friends - some of whom are (one neice, in bad straights herself, is currently taking care of TEN children!) MUCH WORSE OFF (It is the children that really matter!) than we are!
I'm posting an email which grew out of a discussion Rik Flynn and I had on one of the many drives home from PA about how we can continue to work for change in our own community. Rik was a Vista volunteer back in the day and we're hoping President-elect Obama is introducing a similar project on change.gov with America Serves (see below). We'd love your ideas & suggestions.
Change.gov excerpt:
The Obama Administration will call on Americans to serve in order to meet the nation’s challenges. President-Elect Obama will expand national service programs like AmeriCorps and Peace Corps and will create a new Classroom Corps to help teachers in underserved schools, as well as a new Health Corps, Clean Energy Corps, and Veterans Corps. Obama will call on citizens of all ages to serve America, by setting a goal that all middle school and high school students do 50 hours of community service a year and by developing a plan so that all college students who conduct 100 hours of community service receive a universal and fully refundable tax credit ensuring that the first $4,000 of their college education is completely free. Obama will encourage retiring Americans to serve by improving programs available for individuals over age 55, while at the same time promoting youth programs such as Youth Build and Head Start.
Our thoughts:
One, "first blush" thought that might be to include in the conversation(s) is how to tap into existing, well-functioning organizations (I'm thinking of a simile of Barack's notion with the federal budget, working with it, with a scalpel rather than an axe) such as United Way of Ulster County. I had a modest bit of dealings with it and Stacey Rein (head of United Way, Ulster County) when I was a School to Work Coordinator with BOCES. To my knowledge United Way does a great, very cost-efficient job of raising money for various non-profit organizations. But I don't know that there is a parallel effort for identifying and soliciting volunteers needed for these organizations. Perhaps one of the things to explore is some kind of coordinated networking with such an organization that would put the "human capitol", a volunteer base, into the mix along with the monetary channeling and networking? Perhaps maintaining a database of needs correlated with identified volunteers and their availability including occasional as well as more scheduled, routine efforts. Sorta like a "Red Cross" that dealt with non-profit organizations in a non-crisis mode? Maybe also bringing in leading politicos and administrators in such an effort, e.g. the new County Administrator; the U.C. Legislature to promote and work with other organizations?
...
I'm so glad to hear many of you express interest in continuing to work for change, because as President-Elect Obama makes clear on his new website, change.gov, he still needs our help. I'm hoping we can use this forum to begin a discussion of how we can further effect change in our own community and beyond. One idea I'd like to suggest is an UlsterCorps, sort of a local PeaceCorps, to facilitate community service here in Ulster County. I know many of you already volunteer your time regularly, and I would love you suggestions on specific projects and programs to help out with, and how we can motivate others to get & stay involved. Perhaps we could coordinate Service Saturdays working with different organizations each week, or a Thanksgiving Day Drive for Change/ Meals on Wheels to spread the joy & gratitude we are all feeling??
If you plan to be in PA on Election Day, stop by the Board of Elections at 284 Wall Street, Kingston this week 9am-5pm, Thursday 9am-7pm, or Saturday 9am to noon to fill out an Application in person & pick up your Absentee Ballot! You can download the application here but the deadline for mailing it in has past so it must be hand delivered by Monday Nov 3rd: http://www.co.ulster.ny.us/elections/absenteeapp.pdf
Rally flyer:
http://www.ucdw.org/ucdw_pdfs/HV_Rally.pdf
Hudson Valley MOBILE RALLY Sunday, November 2
RALLY SCHEDULE: Kingston 11am, Dietz Stadium New Paltz Noon, Peace Park Ellenville 1:45pm, Liberty Square Woodstock 3pm, Village Green Party at the Boiceville Inn 4pm SPEAKERS INCLUDE: Maurice Hinchey, Kevin Cahill, Mike Hein, Elliot Auerbach & Hudson Valley for Obama Volunteers
Flyer:
More Information: http://my.barackobama.com/page/event/detail/gshxfx
October 22, 2008
To the Editor:
Re: One Person’s Vote
In less than two weeks I will exercise my privilege to vote for my government’s representatives.
I will vote for Barack Obama, because he is the only presidential candidate I find truthful, sincere, and a person who is looking to our nation’s future, a future which requires remediation of many problems we are currently facing. Obama is optimistic we can fix this mess and has a visible wealth of extraordinary experts giving him guidance in all areas of conflict. I am drawn to that stance like a person dieing of thirst to a glass of water. Mr. McCain has presented his case of lackluster experience and an amazing array of negativity and desperation to be elected regardless of his offering real, comprehensive plans that would address our current problems. His only partner in his vision is an inexperienced Governor from a state of 600,000 people, who also seems to enjoy spreading negativity and falsehoods in an attempt to garner favor from an ill-advised following.
I will also vote for Maurice Hinchey, a true “maverick” who was one of several in the Congress who voted against an Iraqi war with no reason that has cost us trillions of dollars to date. He also happens to be an advocate for any positive growth for our community. I found Mr. Phillip’s statements published on his website juvenile and sophomoric, with no real job experience to weather the financial hardships our area will face over the next 5-10 years. Phillip’s serving as a congressional aide to a senator in New Jersey for three years, while he was also tutoring children, is not the real, accountable background I need in my congressman.
I will also vote for Mike Hein as county administrator because he is the most experienced person for the job having been Ulster County Administrator.
I will also vote for Elliott Auerbach because his tenured history of job performance in Ellenville speaks volumes towards appropriate government.
The stock market will take 5-10 years to regain the positioning that we enjoyed during and on the tailend of the Clinton era. Bush and his cabinet of perceived experts have allowed for that ruin and waste and we are now all looking at IRA and 401K statements that have lost at least 40% of our savings (if we were brave enough to look).
I want leaders in the White House and in my community that have my interests as their “base” not what Mr. Bush said: "This is an impressive crowd - the haves and the have-mores," quipped the GOP standard-bearer. Some people call you the elites; I call you my base."
Kris S
From Dan Torres in New Paltz:
It is seven o’clock on a chilly Saturday morning at SUNY New Paltz. There are about twenty college students, and one high school stowaway getting ready to partake in a day that is bigger then them. They have all gladly given up a Saturday to go canvass for Barack Obama. Now they eagerly await a bus to take them to Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania. But why Wilkes-Barre? Well it is a key county in a state that is still up for grabs during this Presidential election, and a state that is keen for the Democratic nominee Senator Barack Obama.
The bus came two hours late, but every student was more then willing to wait. It arrived on campus with students from Marist, Vassar, and a few other colleges scattered in. Soon the students got to know each other as they paired up to go door to door upon arrival. When we landed in Wilkes-Barre we were greeted by volunteers who gave us the “run down” of what we would be doing. They also reminded us that “without Pennsylvania Barack cannot win” this may have been seen as a hyperbole statement but its message was not lost on the students. We would simply be going door to door in a poorer community and ask undecided voters who they are leaning towards, and possibly hand out literature. We were advised not to go into any house or take any food or water from people. This of course is for safety reasons. Lastly we were told “don’t forget this is a gun loving community.”
I then started on a five hour walking adventure with my canvassing partner Adrian Ponce, a SUNY Binghamton student studying biology. “I really just think Barack is a stand up character…I have a lot of respect for McCain but our country really needs change, and I know Obama can provide that” said Adrian. We were handed a map and a list of a few hundred people. We met a wide variety of people going house to house. Adrian having duel citizenship with Mexico and the United States was even able to speak with Spanish speaking voters as well. Some houses we were scheduled to go to were boarded up with a large yellow bank notices on the front door that soon became too familiar. I suppose it made a lot of sense we were handing out booklets on Barack’s stance on the Economy. We were also handing out invitations to an Obama rally in Scranton, with guests Bill and Hillary Clinton, and Barack Obama’s Vice Presidential choice Senator Joe Biden a Scranton native.
Many people were very warm and receptive to our presence. Quite a few houses even proudly had Obama-Biden signs in there yard as well. But it wasn’t lost on me how quiet the neighborhood was. For a Saturday I saw almost no children playing and only a few cars driving by. There were certainly a few McCain signs, but as I jokingly said maybe they were just Halloween decorations. I did encounter one man who seemed less then willing to talk about the election. He wore a baseball cap and appeared to be in his late twenties and said “I don’t care if he is black or white as long as he fixes this damn country” in an election where everything that is said is so well scripted, it was almost refreshing to hear a real uncensored thought by a concerned American. It didn’t go unnoticed by me or Adrian how the community of Wilkes-Barre certainly struggles economically. To me it was also an example of the times we live in, people are really just trying to make ends meat. At times I felt
almost guilty coming from the bubble known as New Paltz, I can go to sleep knowing that I won’t have to pack my bags because the bank is coming, but I wonder if these people can.
We ended the day calling more undecided voters. You could hear the quiver of concern, and the genuine excitement in the many people’s voices I spoke to. At the end of our day we received a “good job, and come back soon” from a member at the Wilkes-Barre, Obama Headquarters. As we got on the bus for what was to be a two hour plus drive home after five hours going door to door, and another two hours making phone calls. I realized that for the first time in my life I had just seen America.
Although, in fifty years, I've rarely had a chance to be proud of it.
Now's the chance. Barack Obama isn't just an intelligent person and a skilled politician. He also has the personal charisma and the wisdom in picking advisors which have marked all of the great presidents of the past 232 years.
FDR, JFK, even Lincoln. Ronald Reagan too, although I'd have to re-define what I mean by "great".
In other words, Obama's got what it takes to make the changes we need--or at least to start the discussion.
Until I saw the Republican National Convention I thought the biggest tragedy woud be if John McCain was elected, because he doesn't really have any new ideas. Then he chose Sarah Palin, and the stakes suddenly got frighteningly higher.
Since then I've been blogging almost every day on the subject of Republican lies (as an MSW candidate, I especially hate the mocking of "Community Organizers"; as the mother of a disabled child, I resent Palin highjacking the halo of "Disabled Children's Advocate in Washington"...especially since, before her infant son was born, she cut state spending for disabled children by 60%)
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