My take on the Republican convention

Dick King — Sat, 06 Sep 2008 18:15:05 EDT

My take on the 2008 Republican Convention By: R.A. King

Minneapolis / St. PaulSeptember 01/02, 2008

Well it has finally arrived folks, the much anticipated Republican National Convention. The first night promised to be very exciting, sort of like an AARP convention on steroids. With my patented "Lie O Meter" [ available from RonCo $19.95 + S/H ] , I settled back for an lovely evening of lies, propaganda and distortions of the truth At first my brand new "Lie O Meter" was cruising along at about 10% percent speed.

I guess that could be attributed to the fact that it didn't detect President Bush or Vice President Cheney because they were down in Texas, eating tacos, drinking beer and pretending to care about the American People. Not to be outdone, Republican Presidential candidate John McCain was in Mississippi hunkered down in a Federal fallout shelter, playing poker, sucking down gulf shrimp and pretending he cared too. Of course he was really polishing up "The Myth" and image of his favorite person, John McCain.

Back on the convention floor phony but impassioned pleas to help hurricane victims felt about as real as Bush's "Weapons of Mass Destruction" evidence.

As they passed a rusty old coffee can around the convention center you could hear all those nickels, dimes and pennies drop in. It was very touching and it was very close the level of their handling of the "Katrina" disaster. Of course to reach that level they would of had to do absolutely nothing.

I did try to listen to Cindy McCain's speech but I kept getting blinded by the intensely bright reflections from all the diamonds and gold she was wearing. At that moment I thought if Cindy would just donate half of that stuff to hurricane relief they could rebuild the entire gulf coast.............not much chance of that happening.

As the convention ground along the praise of all the wonderful achievements of the party came hot and heavy, and the "lie O Meter" started to spin like a ballerina on speed. All the great deeds that had been inflicted upon the American People over the past 25 years by Republicans where laundry listed like indictments at the Nuremburg trials. I have to admit I did get physically ill at this point and had to walk away from the TV before I put my foot through it.

When I finally got back to the action, Hollywood actor Fred Thomson was already speaking and the "Lie O Meter" was spinning like a windmill in a hurricane, He must have said something profound and also untrue. As Fred spoke with such authority it reminded me that he really is a pretty good actor, He must be, If he wasn't he could never have kept a straight face as he was reading that huge load of bullshit off the teleprompter.

The whole time 6 or 7 guys in the audience were yelling "Tell Em Fred" I think it was the same 6 or 7 guys that actually voted for him during the primary. There was a video feed from President Bush. You could almost hear millions of Americans switch channels at the same time. Of course as to be expected this "Message from the President" could have been recorded anytime in the past three or four years because it was the same old crap, different day.

Bush, what can you say, a total waste of 8 years a squandered opportunity to be a great American President.If only he had realized working for the American people would have been much better than working for Exxon-Mobile.

Laura Bush spoke once more and I really felt deep sympathy for her at that moment she dutifully stood up there and parroted more White House spin and some fresh Karl Rove one liners. I just don't know how they got her to surrender what little self respect she had left. Perhaps G.W. agreed to the divorce she's been wanting ever since she found out about him and Condi Rice.

Speaking of Karl Rove there was a convention moment that was only shown on Cspan, because the party leaders wanted to keep the bomb threats to a minimum. Karl had been called to the podium to receive the coveted Ronald Reagan lifetime achievement award for "Integrity In Government"......... You could hear a pin drop as all in the building paused for a moment of reverent prayer for ....and worship of "The Great Communicator".........As this moment stretched for 5 then 10 then 15 minutes, the "Lie O Meter" stopped moving, I noticed it would do that whenever a Republican wasn't speaking........ Finally !!!!! Karl Rove rose from kneeing and began to speak, The "Lie O Meter" went nuts !!!! it must have recognized his voice and went into overdrive. I really became concerned when the "Lie O Meter" began to smoke, so I turned it off to give it a well deserved rest. Besides, with Karl Rove speaking I knew all truth had left the building anyway.

As Rove droned on for what seemed to be an eternity, I could sense the pain of the tens of millions of hard working Americans whose lives had been ruined by this mans divide and conquer style of gutter politics. With a silent prayer and great anticipation I kept hoping he would suddenly suffer from a brain aneurism.............But no such luck tonight. As good old Karl wrapped it up he assured the crowd that: "I know in my heart when John McCain is elected it will be as if President Bush never left Washington". I've heard a lot of crap in my day but Karl Rove having a heart, GIVE ME A BREAK !!!!. After enduring Karl, I started to feel sick again but I managed to hang in there........

I was amazed by the number politicians and various other yes men and woman who rose to speak about all the lofty and virtually non existent family values and other invisible ideals that the Republican party embodied. But the one that stood out from the crowd was Joe Lieberman. Ah yes, Joe "any way the wind blows" Lieberman. Has anyone ever noticed the first 3 letters in his last name spell LIE . Poor Joe, he's so confused, he's not sure if he's a Republican, Democrat, Independent or circus clown. This guy is like Benedict Arnold after he betrayed us not even the British trusted old Benny. So poor Joe wanders the world seeking recognition where ever he can get it............. Totally pathetic and totally devoid of integrity or credibility.

I watched in wonder as this cast of characters acted like they cared more about America than their own investment portfolios or Bush's tax cut's, but of course we all know they don't. And besides every one of them heaped lavish praise upon John McCain, it started to become sickeningly obvious to me that none of them actually knew him very well. Perhaps they were saying all these wonderful things about McCain so he wouldn't point one of his world class temper tantrums in their direction, Or maybe they were just doing it for money.......... As this lineup of party sycophants talked about John McCain, Mom and apple pie, I became teary eyed and started to reminisce about the real Republican Party. You know the party of Senator Barry Goldwater who was a great American a true patriot and a real conservative who actually cared about the United States Constitution, personal freedom and was a man that rejected right wing religious dogma........And by the way, Senator Goldwater had stated on several occasions that John McCain was, and I quote "A carpet bagger and opportunist that was bad for America"...............

Oh I'm sorry, I started to get too serious there and besides, that Republican Party hasn't existed since the corporate takeover back in the Reagan days.

Around 9 PM, the crowd got restless and started chanting "let us go", "Let us go". Not surprising since most of these people hadn't a drink in hours. So as the gavel dropped it was like a starting gun at the Beijing Olympics. In a frenzied rush the crowd surged toward the exits in search of booze and hookers.

So finally it was over for the night, and believe me I'll never complain about root canal work again. After watching a building full of so many misguided people for two long days, I was more than ready for a stiff drink and a very hot shower.

I admit overall I enjoyed this event, it's always fun to witness a good work of fiction and make believe. And in the words of G.W. Bush "What the hell a little fiction now and then makes it hard to see the truth". I think the American people's response to that sentiment should be; "Well G.W. The old saying does go "The truth will set you free" but in your case the truth might just as easily land you prison".

I really have no need to watch the rest of the Republican convention to make this final assessment. I have watched both the Democratic and Republican conventions and I have witnessed two entirely different approaches to our country's future.

The Democrats offer one of hope and unity without all the harsh rhetoric. They also presented a clear cut agenda and most importantly clearly stated ways of how we will pay for that agenda. All of which was presented in plain English with refreshing civility and real compassion.

The Republicans on the other hand seem to be playing the same old scratchy Perry Como record again. Mean spirited talk, vicious personal attacks and empty promises and worst of all blaming the Democrats for all the problems they themselves have created.

I guess the Republicans really don't get it. If they did, they would understand the true meaning of the word "liberal". The 55 men who signed the Declaration of Independence knew it's meaning. They were rebels with new and "liberal" ideas. Perhaps the Republicans want to bad mouth them too.

The American people are a very forgiving people and above all they respect truth and until the Republican Party stops hiding behind political catch phrases, stops putting corporate interests before the needs of the people and returns truth to their party platform the trust of the American people will elude them.

It's really a shame, at a point not long ago in our nations history we actually had two political parties we could trust, unfortunately that's no longer the case, now we only have one.

Richard A. King Former Republican

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My take on the Republican convention