PREPARE TO BE INSPIRED!
You could make the argument that Soylent Green should be allowed to vote (because it's PEOPLE!!!) more easily than you could make the case for the continued influence of lobbyists on the (formerly) Democratic process.
Obama eats lobbyists for lunch!
(and then he pays for the meal out of his own pocket)
"Last year in the United States Senate I passed the toughest ethics reform legislation since Watergate, so that lobbyists couldn't give meals and gifts and could not lend corporate jets to members of Congress. And so that lobbyists would have to disclose the bundling they're doing for members of Congress. And, again, Democrats and Republicans resisted, but it was the right thing to do and we got it done."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uOV7BTkfOj0
"If you want to work in the Obama White House, you will not be able to work for an agency that regulates a company that you used to work for or used to lobby for AND you will not be able to leave my White House and then go lobby my administration for folks you used to regulate. We're going to close that revolving door."
(pssst...don't you think this is something voters would appreciate knowing about?)
Hillary’s got plenty of judgment. A whole heap of it, in fact. She’s got judgment all over the place. In drawers, in cabinets, under pillows, on shelves, in the attic, and a six foot tall pile of it in the basement. She has more judgment than you can shake a stick at. The question is: what’s she saving the good stuff for? Is she expecting a party (the democratic party maybe? Or even that other one?) to descend upon her house unexpectedly, demanding the good judgment she’s been saving for some special future date?
Go ahead, Hill, crack the seal on that stuff, no, not those votes to give authorization to Bush, to prevent the banning of landmines and cluster bombs, to support the anti-consumer bankruptcy bill, to criminalize flag-burning stuff, that's the shitty judgment you give to the saps who don't know any better, you know, the ones who'll be happy to know you have any judgment at all. We're looking for the judgment you rarely use because it costs too much. We want the GOOD stuff.
Whip it out! Surely, you can find it underneath all of the bad judgment, yes? Let me help you. No, that’s okay. It’s no problem, really. Is it over here behind the tax returns you won’t release? Nope. Not there.
What about on top of this pile of money Rupert Murdoch and the insurance and pharmaceutical industries raised for you? It’s really tall, do you have a ladder? Oh. Not up there, either. Darn.
Ooh, I know! It’s probably in your closet, in the pantsuit you were wearing back when you were having secret meetings on your catastrophic failure of a healthcare plan and supporting NAFTA. Oh. Well, even if the suit of a much less cynical and divisive person doesn’t fit you now, you could have given it to a thrift shop or something, you didn’t need to burn it. Surely, someone could have worn it while campaigning for their husband, the presidential candidate who implores people to choose hope over fear. Hey, didn’t Bill do that?
What’s in this drawer? Oh, it’s that pledge you made not to give Fox any more credibility as a News outlet by agreeing to appear on their debate…you remember, the one John Edwards and Barack Obama and the other candidates pressured you into agreeing to. Oh, I can just tear this up? Cool.
There are a bunch of checks from Wal-Mart here too, but they’re from before you ran for Senator, can I chuck these too? You really only need to keep stuff like this for five years for tax purposes and stuff. Oh, right. The library might want them. I’ll just put them back in the folder marked “corporate blood money.” Or do they go over here in “Stuff that looks like money from lobbyists but is really just like being tipped for a job well done?”
Do you still want this note from Marion Wright-Edelman, chair of the Children’s Defense Fund, you know, the woman you call your mentor in the children helping business? It’s the interview from 2007 where Marion Wright-Edelman says “Hillary Clinton is an old friend, but they are not friends in politics.” And calls the draconian Welfare reform bill your husband and, one supposes, you, supported, “an abomination?”
Hope...it's what's for dinnerGo hopeful early Change. Just for the taste of it.If it's too hopeful, you're too old.It's a Hope thing, you wouldn't understandSuck my caucusObama: ready before day 1... to kick some overconfident, Tammany Hall ass!We want change!(not the kind that jingles)Yes we can, biatch!Hope is a full time jobHope ain't for sissies(but they deserve it, too)Building a Movement has nothing to do with fiber intakeI got hope comin' outta my ass over hereHopey Days Are Here AgainYou can't get Experience by osmosisExperience: it's not contagiousI've got cynicism fatigue(I call it hope)This Hope followed me home.Can I keep it?Gee, your hope smells terrificThe opposite of fear is hopeOh, Hope! You're mah best friend!(Driving Mass Change-y)The Hope is strong in this oneUse the Hope, Luke!May the Hope be with youHope is just another word for nothing left to loseHope Wars(graphic with Barack as Skywalker, Michelle as Leia, Hillary and mccain as Vader...)HOPE big or go homeHOPE...This time it's personalBuddy...can you spare a mime?(honestly...I got nothin' here.)Hope: something you can't commoditizeHillary-the low hope leader(visual parody of WalMart ad)Hillary-hopelessness you can believe inAgent of ChangeCynicism is LazyHope has a flavor(LOL cats)Pwned by hope
Mainstream Media: The Anti-Hope
SCARY ad - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M70emIFxETs&eurl=http://thecaucus.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/02/29/clintons-national-security-ad/
BILL Clinton endorses Obama
Now watch Hillary's campaign twist itself into a pretzel to convince us that her new ad isn't about scaring people, it's about encouraging them to hope...
...ENCOURAGING THEM TO HOPE THAT OBAMA DOESN'T WIN BECAUSE THEN WE'LL ALL DIE BECAUSE HE'S FUNCTIONALLY RETARDED AND CAN'T UNDERSTAND HOW TO WORK A PHONE!!!!!!!!!!!!! HE'LL PROBABLY USE IT TO CRACK WALNUTS OR DO HIS TAX RETURNS OR SOMETHING!! AHHHHHHHHH!!!!! BE HOPEFUL!!!!! EEEEEEK!
WHO'S GOING TO PROTECT YOUR CHILDREN FROM THE 3AM BAD PEOPLE!!!!!! SHRIEK!!!! hILLARY WEARS GLASSES AND ANSWERS THE PHONE HERSELF! THEY'LL PROBABLY BE SO FREAKED OUT THAT SHE ACTUALLY ANSWERED THEPHONE THAT THEY'LL JUST HANG UP CAUSE THEY WERE TOTALLY EXPECTING TO GET AN OPERATOR OR A MACHINE OR SOMETHING AND THEY WERE SORTA JUST DRUNK-DIALING ANYWAY...
But, the scary thing is: Obama would have PEOPLE to answer the phone for him!!!!! PEOPLE! The same stuff that Soylent Green is made of! PEOPLE!!!!
And he's a real heavy sleeper!!!!
Hillary will keep us safe and protect us from any danger or ugliness or hurt feelings even because she sleeps very lightly and has cat-like reflexes!!!! She's SUPER-HILLARY! Able to leap over the White House switchboard in asingle bound! Faster than a terrorist's speed dial!
When the 3am terrorists call, HILLARY WILL TALK TO THEM! (unless they're from Iran, then she'll screen her calls...)
OMIGOD! AAAAAH! I'M SO HOPEFUL I THINK I JUST PEED MYSELF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Vote Hillary - The Low Hope Leader
