(Press Release)
Dear Friends,
A new website has been created dedicated to America's President-Elect, Barack Obama, with a big difference. It follows Obama's fortunes and frailties in his election campaign through the eyes of a British writer, Elaine Sihera (Ms Cyprah), from a uniquely Black British perspective. Well known in minority communities in the UK, and the most quoted British woman on the Internet, Elaine had a personal crisis which coincided with the duration of Obama's campaign and has led to this amazing website (www.barackobama-andme.com) which carries the title: My Journey with Barack Obama.
The unique informative website begins the narrative from the time the Senator launched his campaign in Illinois, through to the primaries and his nomination and election. A pioneering achiever in her own right who shares Obama's motivational ideals, and a champion for 'ageing disgracefully', Elaine was so empowered by the campaign, she even went to the Illinois Obama HQ in Chicago during election week to help on the phones getting the vote out and was also in Grant Park as a guest on election night shouting 'Yes We Can!' with everyone else. An experience she describes as 'more than magical'.
The striking, colourful website, which is packed with eye catching photographs, inspirational quotes, presidential quotes, widgets for up-to-date news, useful links, Barack's books, fun games and the articles themselves, each one matching the progress of the campaign, opens with the following introduction:
I am crying as I write this, full of emotion for an awful lot of reasons. I can barely see the keyboard but I have to get this out, both to Newsvine and to Britain. I will feel better when I have said it, if I can find the words to say it. But this is no time to rush things, so let's begin at the beginning.
I started November 4, 2008, being interviewed by phone by Alice Gomstyn of ABCNews.com in New York. She had read one of my articles about the potential impact of an Obama president on 'people of colour' and wanted to question me further. But the day was about to get even better. I was told that I had a letter at the front desk, would I collect it? Yes I did, and received a cheque for one of my books I had actually given to someone after we had been speaking about her problems with her daughter. But she felt the meeting was so helpful, she wanted to pay for the book to help my work. Being surprised at this gesture seemed to be a pathetic understatement.
Many people who know me and my pioneering equality work in the UK will find this post, in particular, rather strange, and might, in fact, fall off their chairs in some surprise! But that is the beauty of evolving in life from one stage to another. If we are learning, we are always developing and always changing perspectives. If we are entrenched in what we believe and have closed minds, we've stopped learning and are in danger of solidifying into fossilised rocks of dubious certainty. It has to be far more exciting to learn!
Being on a holiday in Chicago by myself has allowed for a lot of free thinking time and I believe the most profound thought I might have had on the whole trip was triggered by a comment from a member of an online diversity group I had joined. Some members had not taken kindly to comments by two other French members and had blasted them somewhat for their views. One member, in particular was so upset by this, she wrote:
"I am very disenchanted with a group entitled Diversity for Obama that does not welcome diverse comments from its members and does not stop to think that everyone may not be familiar with email etiquette."
She had made an excellent point which immediately gave me a new insight into my own work, as I had spent the last 15 years advocating diversity in very strong terms. Retired from it now, it was easier to see the wood from the trees and appreciate that accepting true diversity, not the cosmetic form like our recent 'Black History Month' etc., actually comes with a cost for each group/individual.
Gosh, it is cold! I am just getting used to my surroundings now and taking in the different atmosphere to home and I never realised it would be so cold, even though the sun is piercingly bright. What is causing the problem is the wind, the kind I haven't felt in England for a long time. Now I can see why they call Chicago the Windy City. It's a wind that lashes the unsuspecting body, totally negating the effect of the sun, and if it's coming full frontal, that's quite another experience!
Last night when I had finished my third stint of phone banking, I got talking to someone sitting next to me, a young man called Dan, who couldn't have been more than about 28 years old. We clicked immediately because of our zany sense of humour, easy laughter and irreverent manner, and he kept marvelling at how I was there in the thick of it, though not being an American. But I was not really unique, as I discovered. I met people from Denmark, from the Netherlands (who thought Barack was so 'inspirational') from France and from Italy, who were there every day for many hours each day. Even though the Italian could hardly speak English, he was enjoying his data entry which he did continuously without a murmur. It was pretty motivational to see the level of commitment among all the volunteers, both national and international, regardless of the amount of work they had to do, and it was never-ending. For one person to engender such passion, loyalty, commitment and enthusiasm from across the world, he really had to be very special.
Self-esteem is the opinion we have of ourselves. If we believe we are wonderful, we have high self-esteem and if we think we are worthless, invisible and insignificant we carry around a low self-esteem which not only affects our potential, but also dictates the reactions of others. Gradually they pick up the negative body signals we send out and treat us accordingly.
Any feeling of well-being is controlled by how we feel about ourself. We are prone to more illnesses, more problems and more difficulties when our self-esteem is low because we tend to feel bad, laugh less, become more critical of our situation and others, often hate ourselves and systematically lower our resistance to cope with the rigours of life. Talk about walking disasters: with a lack of confidence we make far more mistakes because we become unduly anxious, especially if we are being watched, which reduces the quality of our performance.
We all seek respect daily, but how does it come about? Is it automatic or does it have to be earned?
We tend to respect people for what they do, their birthright and the role they play. If we did not acknowledge and validate them as the source of that status, action or expertise, we would not show them respect. Respect is automatic during the initial first impressions, but it is never static and has to be earned afterwards to be maintained. It is difficult to respect someone even when they are being negative and hostile, so we tend to wait for people to 'earn' that respect, though it is awarded without question at the beginning. In effect, a kind of respect with probation.
Respect does not come easily either. The very act of respecting someone means putting them either on par, or above, ourselves, in estimation. We tend to respect people only when we personally recognise them as the source of something wholesome, unique, beneficial or empowering: for example, a particular knowledge, action, expertise or leadership, not just through their work or social status. We have to feel we can trust them. That is why some people who are simply 'in charge', and have failed professional expectations, are not really respected.
A few years ago, I was absent-mindedly watching the regional news on television when I was suddenly rooted to the spot, overcome by feelings of surprise, elation and excitement. I had to share the moment with someone else and, in my rush to get my husband to see what was rapidly reducing me to a babbling state of incoherence, I knocked over the cup of tea, caught my jumper sleeve on the door handle and grazed my knee on the coffee table.
I had never seen anyone I actually knew on television before, and there, being interviewed large as life in front of me, was the owner of the local furniture shop who had sold us our dining room chairs only the week before. I was so thrilled, anyone would have thought that I was on the box. Television suddenly gave her superhuman status and, having actually spoken to her, that somehow made us part of the unfolding scene. For days I could talk of nothing else.
This event returned to mind when I received a Christmas card some months later from a girlfriend I hadn't seen in seven years. Her brief note said simply,"Saw you on television again recently and told everybody I knew you." Having seen me as a panel guest on a programme, she had reacted in exactly the same way, wanting to share vicariously in the brief moment of glory.
Seeing Barack Obama making his magnificent speech, surrounded by so many enthusiastic people who liked him, believed in him and was anxious for him to win, brought these experiences back vividly to mind. I felt I was there in the midst of those people, sharing that wonderful moment. It also reinforced the key part RECOGNITION plays in success in modern times because of our media age. If it is not confirmed by the public or the media in some way, success is not really defined in social terms. Having that recognition in all aspects of our lives is essential and it is clear that Barack now has his in abundance.
For 12 years, from 1993, I was a very successful diversity consultant and trainer, advising all kinds of organisations in the UK - from huge companies like British Telecom, with 100,000 staff, and the Royal Navy, to small minnows like Coulsdon School - to encourage greater diversity and cultural understanding in the workplace. Being a pioneer in the field, it was easy for me to make a difference in corporate Britain by promoting effective personnel management as a business priority which impacted positively on the bottom line. I must have trained hundreds of staff across Britain during those years, primarily on the concept of diversity and appreciating its benefits and pitfalls. Through our magazine, New IMPACT, we also raised awareness of diversity, a relatively new import from America, and I also introduced the British Diversity Awards to recognise and reward good corporate practice. In that public way, winners could be useful champions to promote good management even further.
I thoroughly enjoyed what I did, and undertook a 5 year research stint into the topic, which led to the only definitive book on diversity in the UK (Managing the Diversity Maze). Throughout those years, though many people were very comfortable with difference and could understand the need to be tolerant, a growing number really felt threatened and this affected the personal perception of their lives. I found myself fielding questions, that appeared to relate to diversity, from very fearful, insecure people who worried about the effect of a multicultural society on what they held dear and how such cultural issues affected them personally.
I joined msnbc's Newsvine in the first week of July of 2007 and immediately got embroiled in heated debates about whether Barack Obama stood any kind of chance to be President of the USA. My belief in his eventual success was unshakeable, and stood confidently firm, even in the face of all the arguments. In fact it was a rather lonely time then, trying to defend my corner as a seemingly 'naive' newcomer in the face of so much scepticism and so many learned Americans telling me otherwise, especially when a few repeatedly pointed out that it was their country and they knew far more about the form than I did. But that cemented my belief even further. Often outsiders can see what we cannot because, being outside of the situation and untainted by its partisan nature, they can see the bigger picture.
A lot of people might believe they are confident, depending on how they feel on any given day. But confidence is not a fleeting thing that is here today and takes a holiday tomorrow. Confidence is all pervasive. It shows itself in every aspect of our lives: the way we view ourselves, perceive our world, approach crises, the way we treat others, our readiness to exercise compassion and forgiveness, and, most important, the way we treat ourselves. True confidence is an incredible feeling because it has a few key attributes embedded in it, seven of them, in fact, which are the hallmarks of the truly confident person. You cannot say you are confident unless you score highly on each of those seven aspects.
1. Self Love This is the first crucial attribute. If you have no self-love, you have no confidence because this is at the heart of confidence: self-love and self-acceptance, which then decide our self-esteem. It is not possible to be happy and confident yet dislike our bodies or ourselves. Any lack of self-love is a prelude to misery and dissatisfaction with our lot. Happiness begins from within and when we love ourselves and do not seek the approval of anyone, we are half-way to real contentment and the next key attribute, self-belief.
I had a lovely, inspiring poem and comment in my mailbox from an Obama supporter and it got me thinking a lot of things. Reacting to the disgraceful behaviour at the recent Palin rallies, Sue Shields wrote:
"What worries me is that Pandora's box has been opened and once again people will feel safe in using prejudiced actions and words in their daily lives. Maybe not as dramatic as burning a cross on someone's lawn or burning a church, but feeling comfortable to use their fear and hate to alter the destination of others in their daily lives and life pursuits. We have to be aware that discrimination is broader than fearing one's color or religion or gender---it includes fearing one's creativity, enthusiasm, intelligence and even one's hope.
This type of behavior has been rampant within the walls of corporate America, within neighborhoods, within schools. The faster the world changes the more people fight to hold on to their status quo through any means neccessary...."
Her sad words rang a great bell inside my head because her comment is really about CHANGE and how we each individually deal with it. Change can often make us feel threatened, vulnerable, exposed, unprepared, and insignificant, make us do things we wouldn't even dream of doing to resist it. New initiatives, new situations and new leaders tend to bring out the worst reaction in us, making us needlessly defensive of our territory while firing our natural instinct to protect the status quo at all cost.
Candidates should hold press conferences quite regularly, for four main reasons.
First, the regularity would ensure that different subjects were covered in rotation up until the election. A good deal of time could be spent examining an issue and allowing the public to get a definite feel for how the candidate would deal with it. It would allow the public to also envisage that candidate in a 'presidential' capacity, dealing ad hoc with difficult questions, instead of someone just making speeches they have prepared and saying anything they believe the audience wants to hear. It would definitely force them to keep on topic.
There are four crucial weeks left to the American elections, a very long time to test political fortunes. To the Democrats it must feel like the end is so tantalisingly near yet so achingly far away, in view of what is possible for both sides of the race up to then. Already, the Republicans are baring their nasty fangs. Bereft of innovative ideas, deprived of any real leadership and with no obvious solutions to any of the country's pressing problems (goodness knows there are many!), the intreprid Republicans, headed by John MCcain and Sarah Palin, have decided to take leave of their collective senses and get stuck into the mud instead.
The problem with accusing your opponent of anything at all that smacks of smear, slander or simple nastiness, is that two can play the same game. Having been in the line of 'terrorist for friend' fire all weekend, Barack Obama's team is now hitting back with a short documentary about McCain and Keating, an association that would have been better left unearthed in view of what is happening in the current economic meltdown.
What do the vice-presidential debate and a racist incident that same day in a middle school have in common? Not much, on the face of it, but on a deeper level, they are both indicative of the state of America today; the low expectations of value, the low expectations of leadership and the increasingly low acceptance of what counts as right and wrong.
First of all, the debate. There has been much comment, most of it hot air, around the anticipated gladiatorial battle between Joe Biden for the Democrats and Sarah Palin for the Republicans. In many other cases, this would have been a non-event: so completely predictable in outcome, so false and superficial and so patroniising to public intelligence as to be almost nonsensical. Yet, the outcome has been presented as some kind of victory for Biden and a 'did much better than expected' scorecard for Palin. Phew, relief all round. She can rest easily now! This assessment is despite the fact that Sarah Palin scored an average of only 32% favourability rating across all the main polls compared to57% for Joe Biden, a significant difference of 25% between them!
Today you are 47 years old, just 10 years older than the age my son, Andre, will be in 10 days time. It's a very poignant month, for that particular reason. As I am a passionate fan of yours, I thought I would put some personal thoughts into words on your special day.
You are a Leo, a true Lion in your manner, your leadership qualities and your behaviour, just like my son. In many ways you both share so much: resilience, driving ambition, determination, great talent, unending creativity, a feistyness for what you believe in, a truly winning smile, a charisma that draws people in, not to mention the ladies, in particular, handsome looks, a carefree air and, above all, an unquenching desire to be who you want to be, to live by your own rules, to do things differently and to impact on your world in a big way.
During this election time, there is a lot of concern being generated, especially among Obama supporters, who worry about his progress and fret about each daily happening from the rival camp. But keeping our bodies in such high states of anxiety is not good for them. Stress tends to creep up on us without us realising it because our home (especially relationships) and our jobs (money) often take their toll as we try to balance domestic responsibilities with work ones. Living with stress is not an option. It keeps us in an agitated state, weakens our immune system and ultimately kills. Not a good place to be. There are six significant signs which show that stress is affecting your daily life:
1. Constant worry and anxiety: If you get up each day with a frown, or even a headache, and the first thing you do is to worry about tasks in the day instead of giving thanks just to be alive, you are under stress. When you cannot see a way out, have a personality clash with the boss, or find yourself constantly finding fault/having arguments with your partner, shouting at the children or finding it difficult to simply relax, you are under immense stress.
Teenagers are seldom disrespectful without a reason, because every child wants to be loved and valued. They would not risk their feeling of security and inclusion for the sake of it. The following are the most common reasons for disrespect, especially when:
1. They feel unloved, unwanted and misunderstood. This is the main reason why teens go off the rails and behave badly. This is their way of getting back and hurting the parent for the lack of worth they feel. They do not have a strong sense of value and so the respect goes. Their behaviour is more like retaliation and revenge for not feeling loved and appreciated. Kids need to be shown love and affection daily. A simple hug, a kind word and positive reinforcement are essential to show value and appreciation and increase the teen's feeling of security and self-worth.
There has been a lot of talk lately of Barack Obama shifting his views on key issues like guns, Iraq and the death penalty. So what of it? The mark of an intelligent, caring, sharing human being is the ability to learn and, above all, to be flexible and willing to listen. The only person who takes the same unmoving stance throughout their life is a know-all, one who is stuck inside their own head, entrenched only in what they believe while hanging on to the past and using it to dictate the present.
Real leaders and thinkers have to do three important things to be effective in their leadership. They have to be flexible, they have to be prepared to compromise and they certainly have to make room for the unexpected.Leaders who become entrenched in their own beliefs, who do not listen to their people, who form unchanging opinions which remain stuck, despite evidence to the contrary, usually end up making the wrong decisions, being out of touch with reality and unable to deal with crises. They might have the 'experience' and unchanging beliefs, but they tend to be crap leaders, stuck in the same mode as change swirls around them.
There is no such thing as one person being right in how they believe because belief is based on sheer perception, and perception is dictated by culture, gender, experience and personal aspirations. Thus the 'truth' will be many faceted. One person's truth is likely to be someone else's lie, depending on our alignments. No one person has a monopoly on the 'truth' because it really just boils down to our knowledge of the real facts, our desire to cooperate or to blame, and our own personal agenda to be significant, to be valued and to be included in what matters to us.
To cope with their routine lives, and the aspects which overwhelm them, people tend to develop belief systems which offer them security, comfort and a degree of control and power over others and their environment, of which, for example, the idea of a heaven that rewards them, and a hell, that punishes others, are core elements. It's the most natural thing to do for inner contentment and sense of power. Such belief systems expand our knowledge of the world around us.
Q. I've had reject letters many times over the years and often felt a bit annoyed that I wasn't told why I wasn't selected for interview or offered the job after having attended an interview. As a HR professional I always have the courtesy to give a reason when someone is not successful in their application, I feel it's only common courtesy and it gives people a good impression of your company - that you actually bother to explain why they weren't selected. But what do you think?
A. The trouble with getting 'the truth' is that such truth is very subjective. One company's 'truth' might bear no relation to another company's 'truth' about the same person! It all depends on what that organisation is looking for. You might be told that you were 'not suitable' for that post for a variety of reasons that could actually make you suitable for another post entirely.
